A wife’s issues affect her husband too.
You know those TV commercials for cleaning products that show you all the unseen bacteria and germs that exist on household surfaces? Well, my phobia of germs is so intense that I “see” similar-looking germs daily on objects, people, and even food. As I look around the room, I can envision where all the villainous microorganisms are hiding, just waiting for an opportunity to take me down (yes, I should seek professional help). I’ve had this issue with germs my entire life. When I was younger, I once saw my brother vomit, and I wouldn’t look at him again for two weeks. As a teenager, I would never share food or drinks with anyone. And now, as a mother, I live in a constant state of fear. I stay awake at night, worried about who is going to get sick next and what I will do about it. When we are out as a family, I don’t enjoy the moment, because I’m fretting over the possibility of one of my children throwing up.
My fear of germs doesn’t just affect me, but it affects my husband too.
If a child is crying in the middle of the night, I wake my husband up to investigate. I find excuses to avoid the public places my husband wants to visit because of the unseen monsters that could greet us there. I insist that my husband must follow certain protocol with his shoes, dirty clothes, and tainted food. My irrational behavior, fueled by fear, affects my husband on a daily basis, and it would be selfish for me to assume that the problem does not reach beyond me.
A wife’s issues affect her husband too.
Insecurity plagues many people, and I am one of them. I am constantly striving to be good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, funny enough, and friendly enough to everyone I meet, because deep down I want to be liked and accepted. I’ve grown used to my inner dialogue that takes place as I compare what the world says about me to what God’s Word says about me. It is second nature for me to dismiss the compliments of others because I don’t believe them to be true. Instead, I hear a voice inside of me that is critical and mean.
My low self-esteem doesn’t just affect me, but it affects my husband too.
My husband expresses his love me each and every day, but I struggle to believe I am worthy of it. Jason often tells me that I am beautiful, but his voice isn’t the one I hear when I look in the mirror. The reality is that I call my husband a liar when I choose not to believe his compliments. My insecurities affect him on a daily basis, and it would be selfish for me to assume that the problem does not reach beyond me.
A wife’s issues affect her husband too.
Whether it is a phobia, an addiction, an unhealthy coping mechanism, pride, or self-doubt, all of us have some issue we continually battle. A husband and wife become one at their wedding ceremony, and a wife should realize that her issues, even the secret ones, become her husband’s as well. Personally, I have had very little motivation to work toward freedom from my issues, because I assume I am the only one paying the price, but acknowledging that my issues affect him too has been a game changer. I don’t want to limit or hurt my husband by ignoring my struggles. I don’t want him to deal with my junk, but he is, and he will continue to until I deal with it. Handling my lifelong struggles sounds like torture (and a whole lot of introspection that I don’t have time for). However, the freedom that will belong to my husband and me will be worth every ounce of effort. I must no longer be self-centered and assume that my issues are mine alone, but courageously move toward healing and freedom so that my husband can also be free from the things that ensnare his wife.
Have you ever seen your issues directly impact your husband?
Sharing with Wifey Wednesday, Wholehearted Wednesday and Wedded Wednesday.
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser says
Very true, from a husband’s point of view.
My wife does not like “repaired stuff”. If I drop a cup, and can find all the pieces, I’ll happily glue it back together and put it back into use.
Not her. For her, something vital is lost in the repair, and it makes her unhappy and uncomfortable.
So if something gets dropped and broken, it’s thrown out. Not a big deal, but something I had to learn.
darbyd says
Ha! I would be like your wife too in that example, and my husband would be comfortable fixing the broken cup. Thanks for sharing!
Ugochi says
Definitely Darby! I have seen it time and again, if am irritated about something, my husband gets it to, even though I really don’t mean it to.
darbyd says
Yes! Irritability is another great example! Thanks for visiting the blog and leaving a comment!
Mendy Webb says
I prayed for something like this for me…so thankful for you and your willingness to share. Please pray for me and my marriage! Thanks xo I will lift u up as well
darbyd says
I will certainly pray for you, Mendy… and I would covet your prayers in return! Thanks for commenting!