My bad attitude ruins many moments.
In the past week alone:- I heard the children rise with the sun while my husband snoozed on. While this isn’t an abnormal occurrence in my house, for some reason that day, my attitude was sour towards him because I was tired and wanted to sleep in.
- I expressed disappointments, in a way, which hurt and discouraged him.
- I didn’t get my way, so I (very maturely) martyred myself on the altar of self-righteousness.
- Just tonight, with half of this blog post written, I snapped at my husband when he didn’t meet my expectations.
My husband is a true peacemaker. He rarely grows frustrated and blesses our entire family with his attitude. I, on the other hand, am not as kind. I take things too personally, am unwise in my word choices, and can easily get my panties into a wad.
The sad truth is that when I am grumpy, I am not the only one who loses. My husband and my children pay the price for my lack of self-control. I make daily choices to exchange the good for the ugly. I invite stress in and make marriage harder than it has to be all because I allow my feelings drive the boat. While I can try to justify my mood, the truth is, there is never, ever an excuse for my bad attitude. Like everything else, it is a choice. A wife’s attitude is the rudder of her home. I so often forget the simple fact that, I can spoil or improve a moment simply by the outlook I choose to cultivate. I want to bless my husband — and our children — with my attitude and yet I daily (hourly) fail in this area.
“In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus…” (Philippians 2:5). I need the same mindset as Christ Jesus! I need His help to achieve it! I want to be a wife who is selfless, humble, kind, wise with my words, forgiving, graceful, assumes the best of my husband, and considers him before myself. I want to be intentional with my attitude, tone of voice, and the smile on my face. It will take work, effort, and putting away my need to be right, but what a blessing it would be to my marriage if this wife experienced an attitude adjustment.
How does your attitude influence your marriage?!
Beth says
I really, really love this, Darby! First of all, your authenticity and vulnerability is so encouraging and brave! Secondly, this is an area that God has been convicting me in as well, dear friend. You are not alone in letting little things get under your skin and taking them out on your loved ones. I was just praying this morning that I would remember that when I let my pride or fears take over, I’m not just hurting myself and others, but God as well. I sure don’t want to hurt Him! Thanks so much for sharing this, my friend!
darbyd says
Thanks, Beth! I strive to keep my writing authentic and so I appreciate your words in that areas.
And wow, I never even thought about it as hurting God too! But you’re right. Totally new outlook now. Thank you! 🙂
Sarah Brown says
Well said! Struggling with this every day and it hurts to face the truth- it is a choice!
darbyd says
I know! I can convince myself that I have every reason to be upset, but I know… deep down… that I am not pleasing God through my case of the grumps! The choice to let go and have a great attitude is such a hard one. Thanks for commenting.
Crystal Green says
I’m right there with you. I am on this struggling boat all the way and sinking big time. I try not to nag (I wrote a blog post about how damaging it is, but it’s definitely a case of the pot calling the kettle black.) I try to be encouraging and supportive, but it’s so hard.
I’m worse than a snapping turtle too, and I desperately don’t want to be that way!
darbyd says
It is so hard, Crystal! At least for me. The sad thing is I am super encouraging and supportive to my friends… why not with my own family?! Ugh! Snapping turtle accurately describes me too! I will pray that we both rely on His Strength to change us into women who speak life with their words! Thank you so much for commenting!
Ashleigh says
Thank you for this. My husband often tells me that my mood affects everyone in the house, and I’ve refused to believe it.
I’ve always considered myself too insignicant, too unimportant for my mood to matter, and in that I’ve allowed myself to be snappy and morose.
It’s wrong, and I need to pull my socks up.
darbyd says
Totally understand, Ashleigh! You are certainly vital in your home!!! I will pray for you (and myself) as we rely on Him to change our attitudes. Thank you for commenting!