For our Marriage Advent Calendar activity, Jason and I read Proverbs 12:4 together which reads, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones.”
Then I asked him to share with me specific ways I can be a better fitting crown.
Since I put together the Advent calendar, I readied myself for his answer by prayerfully preparing my heart. Out of my deep desire to be a jeweled crown for my husband, I wanted him to specifically point out what I could be doing more or less of.
His first response was that he needed time to think about an answer. Later that evening Jason, in a sincere tone, said, “I can’t think of a single thing you could be doing better. You are already an outstanding wife.”
My heart appreciated his answer in every way. I rested easy in his words for a moment, but then my mind ventured into reality where, I know, I am far from an outstanding wife.
This shows me that my husband notices the positive and accepts me for who I am.
I am a blessed wife because my husband doesn’t keep a running list of all the ways I could exceed the wife that I currently am.
I can tell you, however, that if he had asked me what areas he could improve on, I would have quickly suggested many small, tangible ways he could better himself as a husband. I firmly believe Jason to be the greatest man ever. I respect him deeply and love him passionately, but my answer would have been drastically different from his.
This shows me that I notice the negative and desire to change him.
Out of those two outlooks, my husband has chosen the better! He chooses not to see my faults nor focus on my areas of weakness. He takes notices of my strengths and my intention to be an excellent wife even though I fail countless times a day. He extends to me grace on an hourly basis.
I want to be a wife who chooses to love her husband like that!
Instead of noticing what my husband doesn’t do… I need to pause and appreciate all that he does.
When his way differs from my own… I need to respect him rather than attempt change him.
I must shift my current way of thinking! Rather than considering the ways my husband could improve, my choice must be to applaud Jason for who he is today. That way, if he were to ask me to name specific ways he could be a more intentional husband… I would have no answer because I choose to only see his successes and not his inadequacies.
Can you imagine how adored every husband would feel if every wife’s choice was to only acknowledge his strengths?
Will you join me in being a beautiful fitting crown for your husband?