I gathered up all the children, loading them into the van because we could no longer postpone a grocery trip. As I was leaving, my husband asked if I could stop by the bank on the way home. When I agreed, he handed me an endorsed check to deposit. With a kiss goodbye, I dashed out the door, putting the check in my back jean pocket (my husband’s pet peeve). Between excitable children and crowded aisles, I became a woman on a mission to get our groceries in record time. As I was checking out, I decided to move the check from my jeans to my wallet, but reaching back I discovered my pockets were empty!
I raced back to the car, securing the children in the seat belts so that I could search every nook and cranny. No luck finding the check. I combed through my wallet and my pockets again if hopes I had missed it earlier, but came up empty handed. Finally, I took a deep breath, called my husband and meekly asked him if I had left it at home. I had not. Unbuckling the children, we all unloaded from the car and together combed through the store looking for a lost endorsed check. We never found it, and no one had turned it in.
I left the store in tears.
The fact that my careless mistake cost our family money was bothering me, but I was more embarrassed that I lost the check after putting it in my back pocket — something my husband is always encouraging me not to do. I doubted Jason would ever trust me with a check again! Preparing myself for the conversation we were about to have, I began role playing in my mind. I could already hear Jason telling me in his “paternal tone” why we have systems of putting money in our wallets and not our pockets.
One of the reasons I expected this lecture is because whenever Jason makes a mistake without heeding my advice, you better believe I find some way to point out that he should have listened to me. I excel at playing the I’m-right-you’re-wrong card, but I never appreciate when Jason plays the card on me. I needed to brace myself so I would receive it well because, after all, I did deserve it.
My husband came out to greet me as I pulled into the garage. When he saw my tears, he tenderly he gave me a hug and kiss saying, “Baby, it isn’t a big deal.” As soon as I walked inside, he said with excitement, “Look, I washed the floors for you!” Cleaning the floors is always on my to-do list yet is my very least favorite chore.
He not only forgave me but blessed me!
At that moment, I experienced grace lived out. Romans 5:8 defines grace beautifully, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” While my husband is not God, he does demonstrate a Christ-like love. I didn’t receive a correction, or an “I told you so” — even though that’s what I deserved. I didn’t come home to a man frustrated or disappointed – even though he had every right to be. There were no sharp words or cutting tones. When I made a mistake, my husband died to himself. And as he held me, letting me cry on his shoulder, I thought about Christ dying for my sins.
Jason’s beautiful demonstration challenges me to be more grace-filled towards him and my children. He created a safe environment for me to say, “I messed up.” He forgave and moved on while verbalizing and demonstrating his love and commitment. Jesus does that on a daily basis for each one of us. I need to tap into his divine love so that a similar attitude will be a natural overflow into my earthly relationships.
I want to become a grace-filled wife!
I want to be a wife whose husband has no fear or hesitation confessing anything from big sins to small mistakes. To be that woman, I must make some changes so that I no longer hold grudges, bring up the past, or belittle him. I want to greet his victories and defeats with grace! The same grace Christ so willingly offers me on an hourly basis.
What tips do you have for being a grace-filled wife?
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