It wasn’t what he said; it was how he said it.
His tone seemed sarcastic which made his words more cutting.
At least that is how I felt. The rest of the evening I filtered everything Jason did or said through my hurt from his earlier comment. At the end of the night, Jason smiled at me as if all was well, and I let him have it. My anger caught him off guard, so much so he was stunned silent for a bit. He kept saying, “I don’t know how to respond. I had no idea that bothered you.” He apologized, I meagerly accepted it, we gave each other a quick kiss and fell asleep.
The next morning my heart sank when I read Proverbs 19:11,
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Overlook an Offense?
My husband lives this verse out beautifully. He is wise and patient. I can’t think of a time where he hasn’t overlooked an offense. Everyone who knows him loves these traits about him, and that speaks volumes about his maturity in Christ and the truth of God’s Word. I, on the other hand, get quickly offended. Jason chewing a piece of gum or the “wrong” tone in his voice quickly trigger my wrath. I don’t have much grace during the moments Jason says something meaning one thing, but I take it as meaning another. Even just a lack of sleep can leave me edgy and reactive. Regardless of the details, it doesn’t take much before I explode all over my husband.
However, Scripture says it is to my glory to overlook an offense.
The New American Standard Bible puts it this way,
A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression.
Which makes me think of James 1:19-20,
My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.
When I am quickly offended, the righteousness that God desires will not be present in my life. My attitude and reactions display the depth of my relationship with the Lord. Either I will allow the Word of God to change me (and thus revamp my ability to overlook an offense), or I can continue to do what is comfortable and natural. The former will bring about maturity in my relationship with God and my husband. The latter will hinder both. The choice, as always, remains mine.
Do you find it easy to overlook an offense?