The truth that communicating with our spouse is of the utmost importance isn’t new or earth-shattering information. But sometimes we (or at least I) need a reminder. The blog has been silent for the last two weeks because life is hectic. While the desire to write is strong, my time is minimal. Instead of discussing my hope with Jason, I silently waited for him to offer. I daydreamed that he would wake up one morning and say, “Forget my needs, I want you to have a day off to do whatever you would like! Oh, and here’s money for a pedicure.” Okay, maybe that is a bit dramatic, but I did hope he would propose I write for an hour or two.
But I didn’t communicate with him my desires.
So Satan started communicating with me.
While mopping the floor, my thoughts centered around the lie that Jason doesn’t care about me. Making a mental list of perceived “wrongs,” resentment began to grow in my heart. As my inner dialogue continued, it struck me that I was communicating with the Devil instead of with my husband. I had not asked my husband for time (to write, clean, get a pedicure, or anything). How would Jason know I feel like I’m drowning in work without sharing my heart?
Communicating with my husband puts us on the same page.
When I overlook communication’s importance, our marriage struggles.
I’m always choosing to communicate with someone. Either my husband, the Lord, others (gossip), or the Evil One. In the garden of Eden, Adam and Eve had a season where they experienced vulnerability (with God and each other) and felt no shame. But when they started communicating with the Devil, they began hiding from each other and God.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any of the wild animals the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God really say, ‘You must not eat from any tree in the garden’?” The woman said to the serpent, “We may eat fruit from the trees in the garden, but God did say, ‘You must not eat fruit from the tree that is in the middle of the garden, and you must not touch it, or you will die.’” “You will not certainly die,” the serpent said to the woman. “For God knows that when you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil. When the woman saw that the fruit of the tree was good for food and pleasing to the eye, and also desirable for gaining wisdom, she took some and ate it. She also gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it. Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they realized they were naked; so they sewed fig leaves together and made coverings for themselves. Then the man and his wife heard the sound of the Lord God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the Lord God among the trees of the garden. ~ Genesis 3:1-8
The same pattern exists today.
When we engage Satan in conversation, we begin to hide from God and our husbands.
We must fight back and communicate with the Lord and our husbands. As soon as I started praying about my frustrations, the Lord put a stop to my pity party and helped me control my thoughts. Expressing my heart to my husband gave him the opportunity to partner with me instead of me assuming he was working against me. A sense of peace entered into my heart and our home because I began communicating with my husband.
How do you remember that communication is vital in your marriage?
darby dugger
Kate Redmon says
I have definitely found myself guilty of resenting my husband for not considering my needs without ever sharing what those needs are. Thank you for the heart check!
Darby Dugger says
You’re welcome. Thanks for leaving a comment and helping me feel not alone!
Melissa Schlies says
This is such an important aspect of marriage and any relationship! And I think we as women can struggle to say what we need in a relationship which makes it that much more difficult. But I have learned that my husband really appreciates when I say what I am thinking or need (even when it is hard), because that means he doesn’t have to guess.
Darby Dugger says
Yes! Perfectly stated, Melissa. Our husbands do appreciate when we communicate with them!
Heather Bock says
This is exactly what I need to do and what I’m realizing God has been prompting me to do–communicate with my husband about needing time for writing. I hadn’t yet gotten to the point of resentment, but I’ve been there, and I don’t want to go there again! Thank you for writing this!
Darby Dugger says
You’re welcome. Thanks for commenting. We writers certainly need time, but it’s hard (at least for me) to ask for it because I don’t want to stress the family out, but that ultimately just stresses me out.