“The entire day felt like I was living a scene out of a bad movie.”
My husband spoke those words to me at the end of a very trying day. He had gone to sleep the night before with flu-like symptoms, and much to his disappointment, he felt worse upon waking up rather than better. His alarm was set to go off at 4:30 a.m., but he was up by 3:45 with body aches. After taking some medicine and relaxing on the bathroom floor, he dragged himself to work, pushing past the pain and nausea. He remained on his feet and moving throughout his ten-hour shift. Driving home, he encountered severe thunderstorms that made the traffic thicker than normal, so his hour-plus commute had an additional forty-five minutes tacked onto it. About ten miles away from our house, his car hit a pothole, which popped his tire. Body shivering, back stiff, and head pounding, my husband lay in a puddle on the side of the busy interstate, changing his tire while the trucks passing by were spraying him with dirty rain water.
I could hear the exhaustion in his voice on the phone and wanted to find a thoughtful way to welcome him home. If it had been me, I would have wanted a quiet arrival and a tidy home. But I also know that with five small children and a very noisy dog, it is unrealistic to think my house can be a relaxing haven.
Our master bedroom, however, is another story.
“The master bedroom must be a place where the marriage can be rejuvenated after a stressful day.” (For the Love of Our Husbands, page 92)
Yes, I (the girl with dirty sheets) wrote those words. At the time they were first penned, we were living in a rental house. While we were able to put certain practices in place (such as choosing never to argue in our room and removing all technology), I never completely created the oasis I had once envisioned. And sadly, between life and children and excuses, my passionate determination to create a special place for Jason and me has decreased.
Until I saw the need for it on my husband’s face.
Until I experienced the rejuvenation that came from being intentional with our bedroom.
Recently I have been recommitted to creating a sanctuary by focusing on the three s’s.
- Smell —I don’t know about your bedroom, but ours never smelled any different from the rest of the house. If I want a room that is inviting, it must smell that way. I’ve been experimenting with candles and essential oils to create a welcoming and relaxing environment that is unique to our room.
- Sound —My husband and I have always shared a passion for music. When we were dating, we often had the Braveheart soundtrack playing in the background while we studied, talked, or played board games. We often made each other mixed CDs and playlists of our favorite worship and love songs. I want to incorporate that part of our relationship into our bedroom. Our alarm clock doubles as a CD player, so I have chosen relaxing and romantic CDs to fill the airwaves with softly playing music. I also have created a playlist entitled “Master Bedroom” on my phone, which consists of our favorite love songs for more intimate moments.
- Sight —This S is pretty broad in scope but is so important. It ranges from the bedding and wall color to specific artwork, but it also includes the upkeep. I’ve been excited to work on the “fun” side of this one, purchasing a comforter and matching drapes, painting our walls and ceiling in relaxing colors, and spending weeks perfecting a wall gallery to celebrate our love. (FYI, a more detailed post on our wall gallery and a Hobby Lobby giveaway are coming later this week!) The more practical side to this has been harder to implement. I haven’t done a great job at keeping our room clean and picking up scattered toys. It is interesting—in one of our wedding cards, an older woman wrote some advice to me that included her opinion that I should prioritize making our bed every day. For years, I have dismissed her words as old-fashioned, but now I’m beginning to see her wisdom. If I want my room to be tidy, making the bed is a great place to start. It requires ownership and serves as the catalyst for being diligent about putting my clothes away promptly, pushing drawers closed all the way, and picking up the floor. For the past few weeks, I have been faithful in making my bed, and I can tell a difference in the environment of our room and in myself. As silly as it may be, how my room looks impacts its ability to be a sanctuary.
How is your bedroom?
If you have already made your master bedroom into your private oasis, please tell us about it!
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