Do you exalt yourself in your marriage?
I never considered it as “exalting myself” but often my words do communicate a self-praising message,
- Let me show you how to unload the dishwasher the correct way.
- You bought the wrong kind of milk at the store… again.
- You’re grumpy these days.
- You should handle your stress better.
- You are too preoccupied with your phone.
- I would never lose my temper with the children like that.
- My way is better than your way.
- I am better than you
Okay, I might not actually say, “I am better than you” or “My way is better than your way” but that’s what I mean. I highlight areas where my husband is making mistakes by pointing out that I don’t fail in those areas or imply I would never make such errors. My words might change, but my message is the same:
“I know more than you” “You could learn a lot from me.” “My way is right, and your way is wrong.”
As I was talking with my mentor recently, she picked up on my self-righteous talk towards my husband and in very mentor-like fashion she pointed me to Proverbs 30:32,
If you play the fool and exalt yourself, or if you plan evil, clap your hand over your mouth!
What first stood out to me with this verse is that it equates self-promotion with planning evil! Those two aren’t the same in my opinion, but apparently, they are linked in God’s eyes. The Oxford dictionary defines evil as, “profound immorality, wickedness, and depravity, especially when regarded as a supernatural force.” So to me, that is in the same boat as serial killers and terrorist attacks. However, God defines it as anything apart from his holiness and perfection. That would be me! I may try to be good, but even Christ says that God alone is good (Luke 18:19). Despite my best efforts to avoid what I consider evil, the prophet Isaiah describes us all as being infected and impure with sin and describes our righteous deeds as nothing but filthy rags when compared to the righteousness of God (Isaiah 64:6).
Immediately conviction fell as I realized that when I try to exalt myself and my desires, I am in fact participating in evil.
My pride is an offense to God that requires repentance. I may think my way of cleaning the house or taking care of the children is better than my husband’s way, but honestly, we are both flawed so neither one of us will have a perfect idea of how something should be.
It always goes back to God, doesn’t it?
On the earth today, only God’s Word exists in perfection. Even with the Holy Spirit to guide us, we will never reach perfection. So why should we think that our ideas of how things should be are without fault? We need to turn to God first and allow him to readjust our perspective so that we won’t continue to exalt ourselves in marriage and life.
Thinking and saying that our way is best, is a sin. But how gracious is our heavenly Father for giving us an escape route? Just as 1 Corinthians 10:13 tells us, He provides a way out of every temptation, and God’s solution for this situation is to clap our hands over our mouths! It doesn’t get much easier than that. It is better to place our hands over our mouths than to utter prideful words. I don’t know about you, but some days if I obey this Scripture, my hand will rarely leave my mouth. But it is better to live in obedience. I would rather walk around as a wife with her hand over her mouth than one spewing “my way is better than your way” words onto my husband.
What advice can you share on how to overcome your desire to exalt yourself?
darby dugger
*Sharing with the Grace and Truth Link-Up.
Mihaela Echols says
We might not say it but our actions can really show it and they speak volumes. A lot of people need to read this post!
Darby Dugger says
Yes, our actions do speak volumes. Thanks for commenting. Feel free to share. 🙂
Rachael says
What a cute post! I love this! I am right there with you, girl! I need to put my hand on my mouth as well.
Darby Dugger says
Thanks. Glad to have you in the same awkward position. 🙂
Kelly says
I’ll be right there with you holding my hand over my mouth! Thanks for an insightful (and convicting) read!
Darby Dugger says
Yay… glad we are in it together. Thanks for stopping by and commenting. Can’t wait to check out your blog.