In July 2012, long before I was blogging with any regularity, I wrote a post on Fifty Shades of Grey, by E L James, from a Christian perspective. With the movie being released on Friday and recently concluding a series on fidelity, my original plan was to repost that article today. I feel convicted, however, to go in a different direction…
Throughout today’s post, I will be referring to my original work that you should read before continuing.
I still agree with the content of that post, but I wish I had listened to my advice. Sadly, I possess more knowledge and familiarity with the details of the book today than I did in 2012.
Despite my public opposition, I read (parts of) the book in private.
About a year ago, I read a Christian blog post on Fifty Shades that I found on Pinterest. While there was so much great content in the article, the vague details about the story line began to peak my curiosity for knowing what was written on the inside of that now infamous cover. While I have written on the negative effects of pornography and erotica, the truth of the matter was that, up until that day, I had never experienced either one. I began to rationalize that I didn’t even know what “erotica” was and wondered how I could write on a subject matter where I had such limited knowledge base. My heart pounded as the questions raced through my mind. Slowly, I began to convince myself that I should read excerpts of the book in order to gain a better understanding.
I wasted ten minutes of my life reading different passages from Fifty Shades of Grey. While I didn’t even read one chapter in its entirety, I experienced damaging effects from what I allowed my eyes to see and my mind to imagine. Certainly now I understand (to a certain extent) of the appeal; my spirit and heart grieved the choice I had made.
Now, more than ever, I am convinced that Fifty Shades of Grey is destructive.
Contrary to the “expert opinion” given on the news broadcast, I didn’t read it because of a sexless marriage. As I lifted my eyes from the words, I felt opposite of the advertised. I did not become sexy, pretty, or empowered. Rather than enhancing our sex life, the words I read only detracted from it. I invited something unholy into sacred territory. I spent days trying to shake free from the words my mind wanted to recall. I intentionally dwelled on the opposite of Fifty Shades, Philippians 4:8,
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
I fell prey to Satan’s taunts and teases and exchanged our real-life intimacy for a fallacy. Exposing myself to only a couple of pages caused destruction beyond what I could imagine, but I serve a merciful God who redeems! Praise God that, through the washing of His Word, I cannot even remember those secular words that once clung so tightly to my mind.
The truth is that I have no desire to share my confession with you today!
However, I knew that Lord wouldn’t bless a repost of the original article without first bringing the truth to light (Oh, how thankful I am for Jesus!). If we weren’t having this conversation over the web, but rather sitting face-to-face in a coffee shop, I would beg you not to read Fifty Shades of Grey or watch the movie. It is not harmless. It is the reverse of why God designed sex and when we invite less than God’s best into one area, it will soon trickle to every realm of our lives.The abuse and graphically described sexual sins described throughout Fifty Shades should stay far away from anything that represents Christ and His Church, and Scripture speaks about marriages foreshadowing that exact relationship.
As we continued our chat, I would also ask you to join with me in praying for the marriages of the people who do choose to expose themselves to this popular form of porn/erotica. I don’t say that condescendingly, but because I know first-hand the negative impact that my marriage experienced when I skimmed through a copy of the book. The effects of reading the trilogy or watching it played out onscreen have the potential to be very catastrophic.
Perhaps, throughout our conversation, you share with me that you are a fan of the book and that my words have not swayed you from your decision to see the movie. I would conclude by asking you, just as I did in 2012, not discuss the details with friends if there is anyone else within earshot. It is so important to be mindful of those who protect their minds from this type of material.
“Mass appreciation doesn’t always equate to something good. Think of Hitler!” ~ Jamie Dornan (actor who portrays Christian Grey)
“I still can’t look at it objectively or wrap my head around it. The parts of the movie that are difficult to watch were even more difficult—and emotionally taxing—to shoot. … I don’t want my family to see [the movie], because it’s inappropriate. Or my brothers’ friends, who I grew up with. I think they’d be like, ‘Blegh.’ Also there’s part of me that’s like, I don’t want anyone to see this movie…” ~ Dakota Johnson (actress who portrays Anastasia Steele)
Lorna Clemente says
Amen. Thank you for being honest and transparent when it comes to this subject. I for one will not be reading or watching Fifty Shades and I explain why in my blog post (http:// follow2serve.wordpress.com/a-piece-of-my-heart-about-fifty-shades-of-grey). Yes, it is very damaging and I too am very thankful for Jesus. Praying.
darbyd says
Thanks, Lorna! I appreciate your kind words and I loved the honesty in your blog post too!
Gina Sena says
Precious Darby,
I’m so thankful to God and bless for a woman like you. I love your obedience to God and your so heart. I know I couldn’t watch that movie or read that book but did watched a movie yesterday at the airplane called The Best of Me. Although I cried a few times (for the part when the old man tells the boy that he is his now. ) it’s a good movie but for me marriage is sacred not matter what so in the movie is infidelity so at the end I was feeling dirty because yes I skipped the bed scenes and put my hands over the screen till I saw people wearing clothe but I watched the whole movie till the end. So I felt like I agreed with it. And I’m will never be agree in something like that. I will never condensed if a friend is doing something like that so why I did with a movie? Anyways….we have to be so careful with what we watch, what we listen.
Love,
Gina
Gina Sena says
Sorry for all the bad gramma! My phone “autocorrects ” and changes or erases some words!!
darbyd says
Such wisdom, Gina, to know that even an infidelity scene is contrary to our views and beliefs of marriage. Thanks for your encouragement! 🙂
Teresa says
I will neither be reading the book or seeing the movie, but quite a few years ago I read similar types of books which lead to me writing stories of like type. It also led to the destruction of my 2nd marriage.
Fortunately, God has set me free from this bondage and I am blessed with a wonderful husband.
darbyd says
Wow, Teresa… what a powerful testimony. God is so good to redeem any of our mistakes, isn’t He?! Thanks for commenting!
Tina Smith says
We overcome the enemy by the words of our testimonies. Thank you for your transparency. I know that was hard but God will use it to spare others, like myself, from the affects of this book and now movie on our marriages. Thank you dear sister!
darbyd says
You are so kind. Thank you for the encouragement, Tina!
Rachel DeVaughn says
Thank you for this post!! 🙂 🙂
darbyd says
You’re welcome. Thanks for leaving a comment! 🙂