If you were to ask my husband about my primary love language, he would correctly tell you all of them (read this book if you don’t know what I am talking about!). While I wouldn’t say I am high-maintenance, I am needy. Historically, whenever we have months where Jason and I resemble ships passing in the night, I struggle. July of 2015 has been brutal in that regards. My husband worked more than usual and before the month even started, every single spare moment was filled up with doctor’s appointments, meetings, and social events. I tried to prepare myself in advance for a month where my husband and I would have minimal time to emotionally, spiritually, and physically connect.
And I did well for a while, but by the third week it began to be too much.
Over the past ten days, we have spent more time snapping and being short with each other than we have talked. Lack of togetherness always brings out my insecurities so now I am a cranky and extremely sensitive wife who takes my husband’s every word or look the wrong way. It has been fun.
Reflecting on the state of my heart the Lord gave me two choices:
- I could continue down the road of complaining, fault-finding, and dwelling on hurt feelings. Doing so would harden my heart towards my husband and increase temptations. Our communication would continue to decrease along with our intimacy. The further I go down this path, the harder it will be to turn around.
- I could get over myself. I could choose to control my responses and relinquish my frustrations. I could smile more, initiate romance, serve my husband, and look at life from his perspective.
It is up to me to make the right choice.
Not my husband.
At this very moment, I don’t want to do the right thing. It seems easier to stay mad, pout and demand my husband to pursue me into a better attitude. But, I’m at a crossroads. I can take one path and develop a hard heart towards my husband, or I can choose differently and cultivate a tenderness and love. There is only wise and correct choice, and I must make it.
So, good riddance, July! I’m welcoming in a new month with a new attitude!
Please note: Affiliate link used in the post above.