Happy 2019!
I’m not a big fan of New Year’s resolutions nor do I chose “a word” for the year. However, I do believe in setting goals. Reflecting on 2018, I see where I lost my way a bit in marriage and life. I want to rectify that this year.
When I think of our marriage, terms like friendship, romance, and partnership come to mind. Those aren’t bad, but those descriptions are lacking from the original design God had for a husband and a wife.
The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” ~ Genesis 2:18
As a wife, my purpose in marriage is to be first and foremost a helper to my husband. Yet, I don’t often live that out. I think about all the ways Jason should be helping me by making him lists of things to do. I usually assume that my desires take priority. Honestly, I can’t even remember the last time I asked him, “What can I do to help you?”
My focus seems to revolve around me, and that isn’t helpful at all.
In a world where “women’s roles” are being discussed, debated, restructured, and redefined, are we, as women forgetting our original purpose?! God made the first woman to be a suitable helper for her husband. In Ephesians 5, there is a beautiful passage which parallels the marriage relationship to Christ and the Church. Wives are to represent “the church” in that equation. What does the church do? It submits to the leadership of Christ and being the very hands and feet of Christ; it helps to spread the Gospel. As our culture seems to be exploring more of what women can (or “should”) be doing, and attempting to break glass ceilings, I’m curious if this momentum is a reflection of what we women have been doing in our own homes for years?
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying women shouldn’t have roles or aspire to pursue dreams that are in line with the Word and their giftings. Yes, the Bible is clear about particular positions in the church women shouldn’t hold, but those are very few while a greater bulk of God’s labor consists of roles and titles that men and women can share. However, no matter what we are doing or advocating for, we must not forget that we are to be helpers.
If I approach my marriage and ministry positions as places to be a helper, I will be walking in obedience, and my fruit will be more abundant. When my focus is wrong (which it so often is), and begin to make marriage and service about me… I am of little help to anyone, and while I might think I’m making strides in living the life I want for myself, I am most likely walking in the opposite direction from where the Lord wants to use me.
Helper isn’t a bad word!
It is an honor to have one of the same names as the Holy Spirit,
But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. ~ John 14:26 (NASB)
Other translations of that Bible verse refer to the Holy Spirit as Counselor or Advocate, and both terms are descriptions of helpers.
If I embrace my God-given role and look at my marriage (or any other ministry opportunity) as a daily opportunity to help my husband (and the church), then I will be approaching each day with the privilege to take the very nature of a servant, just as Jesus did,
In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus: Who, being in very nature God,did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage; rather, he made himself nothingby taking the very nature of a servant,being made in human likeness. And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himselfby becoming obedient to death— even death on a cross! ~ Philippians 2:5-8
So my goal, for 2019 and beyond, is to look at how to be a helper. Above all else, a helper to my husband. Secondly, a helper to the church in which the Lord has called me, and lastly a helper to any and everyone that God puts before me.
Do you have any goals for this year?
darby dugger
With the new month comes a new prayer calendar! This year, I’ve taken a slightly different approach. Instead of a calendar to print out monthly, I have one file that has all twelve prayer calendars attached. This way, you are all caught up, no matter when you join and because they aren’t specific for a certain year, it can be used again and again. If you all dislike this new format, let me know and I can try to recreate something for future months! Thank you for being a part of this community!
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