I don’t know about you, but I often overlook the Lord’s eternal perspective. He sees all of time, from beginning to end, in a single moment. There is nothing that comes as a surprise to God. Before the world began… He knew our every day. I fixate on the temporary, so much so, that it requires a conscious effort on my part to remember that the Lord doesn’t have the same view on my life as I do. His outlook is greater than my own.
My husband also offers me a different perspective on life.
While I can be a drama queen, my husband is very good about keeping a level head. An (almost) everyday occurrence at our house is when I will stress out over something while my husband calmly reassures me that everything will be okay. The specifics may be different, but the concept is always the same:
- When the children are sick (remember I have a fear of germs)→ Jason will encourage me not to dread.
- When I am running late→my husband tells me that everything will work out.
- When I grow irritated as I frantically clean the house before company’s arrival→my husband speaks about how our fellowship will mean more than clean toilets.
- When I am feeling overwhelmed→ my husband reminds me the importance of having healthy boundaries when it comes to outside commitments.
- When I see the end of the world→ my husband sees a new adventure.
Personally, I never receive his viewpoint very well.
I assume, in these moments, that he is a typical male who is simply trying to “fix” my dilemma. My response is to make him aware that he can’t possibly understand the stress that I am under or the reasons behind it; I also accuse him of not being sensitive to my needs. No matter what encouragement he presents, I quickly dismiss his advice. And, in doing so, I also dismiss a blessing.
I fail to see that my husband could offer me something.
My husband has a different take on life. His outlook doesn’t match my own, but that doesn’t mean I should discredit the advice he offers. Instead of pridefully assuming that he can’t provide me with anything useful, I should humbly listen to his words of truth. Rather than receiving his carefree attitude as an insult, I should accept his words as a love offering. My husband isn’t trying to tell me that how I feel is wrong… he is simply trying to offer a different point of view. In the same way that I am benefited by reminding myself of God’s eternal perspective – I must remember that my husband also offers me a unique perspective that I shouldn’t so quickly dismiss.
Does your husband offer you a different perspective? How do you receive his opinions?
Sharing with Wedded Wednesday.
Lisa says
Thanks for posting this today. I too struggle with looking at life through my husband’s perspective. It’s funny though, because my husband is usually the one who worries with panic as I try to calm him down and reassure him that things aren’t as bad as he thinks they are. He sees the big picture often, but sometimes I get caught up in the details. 🙂
darbyd says
Hey Lisa!
Thanks for reading and commenting. Isn’t it neat that God often pairs “opposites” up — being the anxious spouse, I know your husband is blessed to have you in his life! 🙂 But I am glad you could still relate this post to your marriage even if your circumstances are different. Praying you have a great week!
Beth says
I was just talking with a friend about this very thing. She wants to treat her husband to a surprise for his birthday and was asking her girlfriends for creative ideas on what to do for fun. I asked her if she had thought about what “he” would like, since as females, our likes and dislikes are so different from mens’. I want to be better about this too. I can see it when it’s my girlfriend’s with their husbands but often miss it when it comes to my own! ha! Thanks for this great reminder to see things through our hubbies eyes, Darby!
darbyd says
Thanks, Beth! And yes, I remember once I threw a surprise party for Jason because I would have wanted one… he later asked me (very kindly) never to do that again! Ha.