I am positioning to be a better wife.
The concept of positioning oneself sounds strange, but it is actually quite Biblical. James 4:10 and 2 Chronicles 7:14 (among others) instruct God’s people to humble themselves before the Lord. The act of humbling oneself is positional talk. It described an outward change to reflect an inward desire. Zacchaeus, the tax collector, is another example where Scripture teaches the importance of our position. Wanting to see Jesus, short Zacchaeus climbed to the top of a tree. He positioned himself to see Jesus clearly. Because of that act, Jesus ate at his house and his life forever changed.
When I am sitting on the floor with my children, I am a better mother. I am more engaged with what they are saying, in better reach of what they are doing, and my mind is focused only on them. Contrast that to when I’m busy doing chores or writing blog posts, their noise seems to irritate me easier, and I pay them less attention. My choices in how I position myself are important to my relationship with my children.
The same principle applies to my marriage. I want to put myself in a position that will allow me to cultivate a deeper love for my husband and pave the way for better communication. There are changes that need to be made in my life if I want my physical body to reflect my desire for increasing intimacy. Here is the list I’ve started for how to best position myself to be a better wife.
- Avoid Technology: When my husband is home, I don’t want to find myself looking down at my phone or turning on the TV. I want my time with him to be free of all technology so that I am not distracted. In a lifelong marriage, continuing to build on your relationship with your spouse is vital, and so often I am tempted to build my relationships with others rather my husband. Positioning myself away from technology is a great place to start in becoming a better wife.
- Make Eye Contact: When my husband is talking to me, whether is it is about our schedules, the children, or his feelings, I can often be doing other things. Having my husband speak up over the sound of running water as I wash the dishes is normal. And while I am listening, I am not making eye contact. When I am talking to my husband, if he isn’t looking at me, I can secretly question how much he is paying attention. I don’t want to give my husband a chance to wonder that same thing. When he is speaking, I want to position myself so that I can look at him in the eyes.
- Open Arms: Even if I’m not upset, my arms tend to be crossed. It is a comfortable and natural position to be in, but in the realm of body language, it communicates a “closed off” attitude. I want my arms to be available to give and receive a hug. I want my hand to be easy to hold. I want to be in a position where I can easily put my arm around him or give him a tender squeeze as I walk by. Uncrossing my arms is a great place to start in reaching this goal. And certainly this position also applies to the bedroom.
- On my Knees: There is no better way than to position myself to be a better wife than on my knees before God praying for my husband. Prayer must become my lifeline; falling on my knees on behalf of my husband must be my most frequent position. If I am not faithfully praying, the other positions lose their power and no longer matter. I don’t want to do a great disservice to my husband by failing to make prayer a priority.
Those are my starting points in my quest of positioning to be a better wife. What would you add?
I am sharing with the Grace & Truth Linkup via Arabah Joy Blog.
Lisa says
Hey Darby!
You shared some really great insight in this post. These are all things I need to do better! Something else that helps me be a better wife is if I am wanting to approach my husband about something I want to talk about in depth, instead of barging into his home office or just gushing out my words, I need to ask him if it’s a good time for him to talk. So much conflict can be avoided when I take this approach!
darbyd says
Thanks Lisa!
I love your advice too. I certainly could do a better job asking my husband if he is ready/available to talk before I launch into my thoughts. Thanks for sharing that.