I can be a very reactive wife.
For example, one day last week, my normally laid-back husband was having an incredibly bad day. For no particular reason, he had a dark cloud over his head from the time he woke up. Instead of trying to lighten his load, pray for him, or simply carry on about my day, I chose to match his grumpiness. If he were going to be downcast, I would be more so. I didn’t smile, I didn’t play with the children, but I did stew on how frustrated I was at my husband for having a rough day.
I had no reason to be short, moody, or sarcastic… and yet, those were exactly the attitudes I took towards my husband and our children. As I went to bed that night, I had to face the reality that I had wasted a day of life and punished my family because I was frustrated by my husband’s attitude.
My entire family loses when I choose to be a reactive wife!
- If my husband makes me mad, I want to make him mad.
- If he hurts me, I want to hurt him.
- If I view him as being selfish, I want to be selfish.
- If he turns me down for sex, I want to turn him down.
My vengeful attitude is mine to own and keep under control.
I can’t blame a certain situation or another person for my lack of self-control. I can’t point out my husband’s bad attitude, scream unfair, and then allow that to influence negatively my choices. I am a grown woman, and if I want to be a mature follower of Christ, I cannot point fingers, blame, avoid, or simply react. I am in control of my smile, and I am in charge of my frown.
My frustration with my husband does not justify being a frustrated wife and mother.
I want to be a joy-filled wife. I want to choose the best attitude and outlook possible. I want to support and encourage my husband when he is having a bad day. In order to do that, I must first stop being a reactive wife. I can only imagine the peace and contentment that come from being a wife who chooses joy and believes the best about her husband every day. That’s the wife I want to be, that I’m praying to be, and that my family needs me to be.
Are you a reactive wife? If you’re not, what is your secret?
[…] I’ve written before about how my family loses when I choose to be a reactive wife. I wish I could pass off this story as nothing more than me reacting poorly to a situation, but the truth is it was a premeditated lie. I mentally planned my story and rehearsed it out loud several times prior to our car ride. I spent time, energy, and money plotting how to achieve my destructive goal. No, I wasn’t merely reacting to a situation. I was retaliating. […]