Scripture is clear that without a vision, we will die. Okay, maybe we won’t physically die, but perhaps our marriage will.Taking that passage to heart, it is easy to conclude that a couple’s vision is vital for their marriage: What is the purpose of our union? What are our goals as a couple and as individuals? What unshakable dream(s) has the Lord laid in our heart? What is our vision? With a unified vision, a married couple is able to speak a common language and come up with a plan to fulfill their Providential purpose.
What happens, then, when the wife’s vision for her family is different from that of her husband?!
That is where I have been for the past year. My husband and I have had many difficult conversations regarding the topics of school choices for our children and “family planning.” The hardest part of these discussions has been that we can’t reach an agreement.
We have a difference of opinion because we each have our own vision.
I am thankful that my husband follows the Lord! I know that Jason is seeking God’s guidance and trying to put away his own flesh as he leads our family. I realize the caliber of man Jason is, in and of itself, is a gift which I certainly don’t want to take it for granted. Yet, that doesn’t make submission to his decisions any easier when I strongly feel they contradict the desires of my heart and the purposes (I believe) God designed me for.
We have gone round and round. Discussed and Discussed. Prayed and Prayed.
Even though, as I write this, we have reached a point of mutual compromise (simply to “let go and let God”); I still am concerned that, overall, we have conflicting visions.
I am confident that the Lord desires unity in marriage. I am equally as confident that the seed of division, between a man and his wife, is planted by Satan. I trust God’s character enough to know that He won’t tell Jason one thing and me another. He won’t send us off into different directions.
I was encouraged on Sunday night when my husband shared Jeremiah 32:39 with me, “I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me and that all will then go well for them and for their children after them.” What a wonderful verse for us to pray together!
If I am willing to lay down my own ideals and pray for the Lord to give us a “singleness of heart and action” then, over time, our two visions will become a singular one. God will come through (and teach us so much along the way).
My advice to a wife whose vision differs from her husband’s?! While remaining submissive to the Lord and to her husband, pray Jeremiah 32:39 over her heart and her marriage! In answering, the Lord might move the husband… He might move the wife… most likely He will move both!
Do you and your husband have a singleness of heart?! If you do, it will go well for you and your children! What a mighty promise to cling to!