My heart has been very heavy over the marriage debate which has taken center stage in our country. Over the past week I have read countless articles expressing arguments for or against same-sex marriage. Frankly, I have become disappointed and offended by people on both sides.
I am shocked at some of the choice words that are being written by Christians. They are crude, hurtful, and inappropriate. For people who claim to love Jesus, their words are far from being Christ-like. This has broken my heart for the people who have been wounded by those reckless words. I want to jump up and say, “I am sorry. Not all Christians feel that way!” If someone can’t share the truth of God’s Word without hostility and derogatory comments then they need to reexamine their own heart before Scripture rather than preaching it to someone else.
Personally, I believe that homosexuality is a sin, but it is no worse than any sexual sin that heterosexuals struggle with. I believe that marriage isn’t man made, but that it was designed and ordained by God at the creation of the world. I believe that God intended it to be between one man and one woman for life. I desire to raise my children up with this same definition and value. I take comfort in knowing that as the culture changes, if government “redefines” marriage… it won’t change God’s definition and thus, it won’t change my definition.
That being said, I don’t believe that same-sex marriage is the only threat to God’s original design. Look at society today: divorce is common, co-habitation is normal, premarital sex is expected, infidelity isn’t shamed, and pornography/erotica are frequently used. All of those equally discredit marriage and attack the family unit to the same degree that legalizing same-sex marriage would.
Truth be told, heterosexual couples have already damaged the sacred institution of marriage.
I am passionate about looking inward when conflict arises or a change is needed. When I am struggling in my marriage, I look at what I could do differently instead of focusing on what my husband ought to do. That philosophy can (and should) be applied it to the marriage debate. Instead of arguing about what a certain side should be saying, believing, or doing – we should examine ourselves. Ask yourself this question and see my answers below:
What can I be doing to promote, esteem, and affirm Biblical marriage?
- Pray. Pray for our country. Pray for the Supreme Court Justices. Pray for the state of marriage to be valued. Pray for a revival of purity, commitment, and Biblical sex to be birthed in the hearts of single and married people.
- Be Politically Active. Vote your conscience, respectfully share your opinion when asked or when it might benefit someone. Get involved.
- Do All Things in Love. Converse with a neighbor, befriend someone with a different political agenda than your own, write blog posts, vote, speak, and march. Whatever you do – do it with love and grace or all will be lost.
- Live it Out. This one is incredibly important. If you desire to “defend marriage” then make sure your marriage is worth defending. How valuable is your political involvement if your lifestyle doesn’t reflect your vote? Live up to the high standards that are specified in the Bible. Do not accept or excuse sex outside of marriage. Don’t co-habitate. Never view pornography or read erotica (before or after the wedding). Once married, guard your relationship from emotional and physical affairs. Work hard to make sure your marriage thrives rather than simply exists. Have a relationship that stands out and inspires. Agree with your spouse that divorce is never an option. Follow through on your promise of “for better or for worse… until death do us part.” If you live out a Biblical marriage: you will have a more positive impact on society than one million articulate articles, debates, or marches could ever have.