What are you most thankful for about your husband?
With Thanksgiving just a few day away, I went to bed last night thinking of all the ways I am thankful for my husband. Sounds romantic and beautiful, right? However, the more I reflected on my “thankful list,” the more I realized it was selfish in nature.
- I benefit from him being the spiritual leader and financial provider.
- I reap the rewards for his patience and sense of humor.
- I feel special in the ways he pursues me.
- I enjoy the time he gives me to continue my hobbies, dreams, and callings.
- I depend on his wisdom and perspective.
Sadly, What I’m most thankful for are the areas in which he blesses my life.
This morning I have been doing some heart searching to see if I would say that I’m thankful for the challenging (uh, sometimes annoying) aspects of my husband and our relationship.
- Submitting to his choices when I don’t want to/agree.
- Working around his work schedule which often includes long and odd hours.
- The jokes he’s told one too many times.
- Wishing for him to speak more in my love language than his.
- Having to sacrifice my plans so he can have time for his.
- When he tells me truths I don’t appreciate or want to hear.
Do I appreciate my husband and the aspects of our relationship even when I don’t seem to be getting what I want out of our relationship?
I want to be a wife who is Thankful for everything about my husband.
That means giving thanks no matter what situation we find ourselves.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~ 1 Thessalonians 5:18
That means not worrying about my wants and my will.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. ~ Philippians 4:6
That means loving my husband with a Christ-like love that looks over faults and forgives sins.
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. ~ 1 Peter 4:8
That means appreciating the good times and the bad.
I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ~ Philippians 4:12
I shouldn’t only be thankful for the positive elements of being married to my husband.
God wants to teach me through even the difficult or lonely times. He’s trying to teach me about my sin through my husband’s sin, my idols through his idols. He desires to show me that his grace is sufficient for all circumstances and that my holiness is more important than my happiness. The Lord uses the struggles of this world to edify us and help us grow in righteousness. If I am only thankful for the sweet portions of marriage, I am missing opportunities that the Lord wants to use for maturing my faith and dependence on Him. If I look at my husband and count up only what he gives me, then I’m way off the mark. Thanksgiving doesn’t have to be full of warm and fuzzy feelings. As David penned in Psalm 116:17,
I will offer to you the sacrifice of thanksgiving and call on the name of the Lord.
Sometimes giving thanks will be a sacrifice, but it is one I must be willing to make. I want my heart to be that humble and agenda-free for the Lord, and for my husband. I don’t want to place pressure on Jason by declaring all of the sweet reasons I’m thankful to be his bride, but never mentioning the sacrificial benefits too. The true spirit of Thanksgiving that I want to carry with me all year is one in which I’m thankful for my husband regardless of benefits or hurts. I’m thankful because our marriage is a tool that God will use to shape and mold me into a deeper Christ-follower if I get the focus off of what I receive and am open to the idea of celebrating and treasuring a sacrificial thanksgiving.
What are you most thankful for about your husband?
darby dugger
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