Occasionally, I have written an article that becomes controversial. In 2012, I published a post discussing 50 Shades of Grey (which has been the only post where I have had to delete comments due to inappropriate language). Last year, in the heat of our nation’s should-we-redefine-marriage debate, I made known my opinions on this blog. Personally, I make an extra effort to shy away from conflict. A peacekeeper at heart, I would prefer to pull my own toenails out than to intentionally upset someone or enter into a heated debate. However, if the Lord lays it on my heart to write about a disputable matter, then I have to obey Him rather than my personal preference to stay silent.
Today’s post is one of those.
January 18th-19th, 2014, is Sanctity of Life weekend. During their worship services, churches all across America will set aside time to remember the millions of sweet babies that have lost their lives to abortion. We will pray for the mothers and fathers who are still struggling to cope with a past decision to terminate their pregnancy. Reflections on Roe vs. Wade will be made as we pause to consider the impact of that infamous 1973 Supreme Court case.
My words today are not to debate being pro-life or pro-choice.
I am pro-life and my target audience is other women who also consider themselves to be the same!
I used to think being pro-life meant being against the medical procedure of an abortion. However, in His goodness, the Lord has been revealing to me that there is much more to being pro-life than simply being against abortion! It is great to prayerfully stand out front of a Planned Parenthood, participate in a march, and volunteer at a crisis pregnancy center, but being pro-life requires much more. In fact, the decision to defend the uborn should impact your daily life through your choice of birth control.
As a Protestant, I used to think the argument against birth control was strictly a Catholic viewpoint. In fact, during our first year of marriage, I daily took a birth control pill with the hopes of avoiding a pregnancy.
During that time, one of my friends mentioned, in passing, that birth control pills can cause abortions, but I quickly dismissed her as a zealot. Over the next several months, I heard other people make the same statement. Being intrigued, I began to question the accuracy of their claims! I went to Web MD to look up the exact birth control pill I had utilized (while I was no longer taking it, it was still in our medicine cabinet). Here is what I read (emphasis mine),
This combination hormone medication is used to prevent pregnancy. It contains 2 hormones: a progestin and anestrogen. It works mainly by preventing the release of an egg (ovulation) during your menstrual cycle. It also makes vaginal fluid thicker to help prevent sperm from reaching an egg (fertilization) and changes the lining of the uterus (womb) to prevent attachment of a fertilized egg. If a fertilized egg does not attach to the uterus, it passes out of the body.
As I read the third way this pill is designed to “prevent pregnancy,” I knew that I had to choose what being pro-life meant to me. Was I truly for life and willing to protect even the youngest of babies or was I simply against a woman choosing to abort her baby after a certain gestational age?
Ya’ll, this was a gut punch to me and I wrestled with the Lord over this topic for quite some time.
While, the medical definition of pregnancy is fertilization PLUS implantation, the Scriptures are clear that it is the very moment that an egg and a sperm meet which begins a person’s life (Jeremiah 1:5, Psalm 139:13-16, Psalm 51:5, Job 10:8-12, Job 31:15… ). My old birth control was designed to work by,“preventing attachment of a fertilized egg” which clearly refers to an early abortion to someone who, like I do, believes life begins at conception.
I repented of my decision to have ever taken the birth control pill, and I quickly dedicated myself to the research of medical forms of contraception. As I became aware of exactly how many of the forms of birth control “prevent pregnancy,” my heart became burdened by these methods, the lives that have been lost because of them, and the hundreds of pro-life women who unknowingly choose these options. I would love to discuss a few forms of birth control with you today. My goal with this is simply to present you with information in hopes that you will begin your own research and prayer over this matter.
I truly appreciate your grace.
The IUD
The intrauterine device, or the IUD, is a very common choice for married women. This contraption is placed, by a doctor, inside of a woman’s uterus in order to “prevent pregnancy.” Be advised, however, that the IUD works primarily as an abortifacient. The Mirena website writes the following on how it works (emphasis mine):
• Thickens cervical mucus to prevent sperm from entering your uterus • Inhibits sperm from reaching or fertilizing your egg • Makes the lining of your uterus thinMirena may stop the release of your egg from your ovary, but this is not the way it works in most cases. While there’s no single explanation for how Mirena works, most likely the above actions work together to prevent pregnancy for up to 5 years.
Web MD states (emphasis mine),
[Mirena]… releases the hormone progestin, which causes the cervical mucus to become thicker so the sperm cannot reach the egg. The hormone also changes the lining of the uterus, so implantation of a fertilized egg cannot occur.
The Mini-Pill:
The low-dose progesterone only pill, or the mini-pill, is an oral pill that contains only progesterone. This pill operates in a way that is similar to the IUDs, meaning that it too is considered to be more of an abortifacient. This option rarely suppresses ovulation but rather it increases mucus (making it harder, but not impossible, for sperm to reach the egg) and alters the endometrium (the lining of the uterus) so that a fertilized egg (a baby!) cannot implant. Web MD writes this,
Among women who use the progestin only “mini pill,” only 29% did not ovulate (Tayob, 1986). Remember that the progestin only mini pills have no synthetic estrogen, and their doses of synthetic progesterone are very small. Pregnancy is prevented by other, additional mechanisms such as thicker cervical mucus and thinner lining of the uterus.
Drug Facts & Comparisons, a reference book for physicians, states (emphasis mine),
Progestin-only [pills]…alter the cervical mucus, exert a progestational effect on the endometrium, apparently producing cellular changes that render the endometrium hostile to implantation by a fertilized ovum (egg) and, in some patients, suppress ovulation.
This is important for pro-life women to know because the mini-pill is the only oral pill that is “safe” to take while breastfeeding, but, again, the primary function of this drug is not to prevent the release of an egg! Rather it prevents the implantation of a fertilized egg (a baby!).
The Combination Pill:
Despite my testimony above, this certain pill brings about quite a bit of debate. While Christian communities openly voice their objection to the use of IUDs and the mini-pills, there is silence on this particular form of birth control. Understandably so, because this version of medical birth control actually tries to suppress ovulation, which of course would truly prevent a conception from taking place.
Yet, I would encourage pro-life women to prayerfully consider the consequences of this choice!
My personal hesitations with this form of birth control stem from is the ugly truth that a person cannot guarantee that it will successfully work in their body, every month (or even one month), by preventing ovulation. Each person has a different weight, different metabolism, different sleep cycle, and other factors which will make their body uniquely react to the chemicals within the pill. In addition, each month might bring about changes in how your body responds to the drugs depending on what other medications you might be taking, your caffeine intake, or stress level. The bottom line is that, despite the claim that it tries to prevent ovulation, no one can guarantee that it will. This pill is designed to work by three primary methods and one strategy is by thinning the lining of the uterus preventing a fertilized egg (a baby!) from implanting.
I realize that this reality is hard to swallow. Much harder than a daily birth control pill. Once we accept this truth, we must act upon it and, frankly, that is sometimes very difficult. Methods of birth control that do not bring harm to a newly conceived baby (NFP, Creighton Model, and barrier methods) aren’t as easy or convenient, but I don’t recall many times in the Bible where God encourages His followers to take the easy route. A couple might not feel ready or able to handle another baby, but Randy Alcorn so eloquently writes,
We have to weigh the increased “risk” of having a child, a person God calls a blessing, against the possibility of killing a child, an act God calls an abomination. No matter where a Christian stands on the birth control issue, we should surely be able to agree that the possibility of having a child is always better than the possibility of killing a child.
Allow me to clarify, I am not against “family planning” and I do not believe every family is called to have a large number of children. However, with a Scripture-supported conviction that life is valued from the moment of fertilization, I believe we must aline our pregnancy prevention choices with our beliefs.
Simply put, options that don’t honor or protect life cannot be options.
Call to Action:
It would require much more than one blog post to accurately discuss this topic with the depth it deserves. And, honestly, I hope that you don’t take me at my word. My prayer is that you will do the research because, truly, it speaks for itself. This topic will require work and an open mind, but if you firmly believe life beings at conception and that all life deserves protection, then the investigation is necessary.
For this post, I tried to site medical publications in order to keep denominations and other religious voices from being a distraction. I focused exclusively on the mechanisms behind medical birth control to see if they align with the infallible Word of God. However, for those who may be interested, here are a few publications from a Christian viewpoint:
Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions? {Read this Free E-book}
If you are struggling with this topic, you aren’t alone! It is a hard one, but it is of upmost importance. I would encourage you to go to God’s Word. What does It say about children and the gift of life? Base your pro-life definition from the Author of Life Himself.
Once you have a Scripturally clear statement of belief, prayerfully begin researching birth control methods. Check out the listed resources above, find research papers on your own, contact a trusted pastor, and speak with your doctor. I will caution you, that some doctors (and ministers too) may not completely understand the involved ethical stake (For example, there is a OBGYN doctor at my church, who used to believe birth control to be a sensible option because her training never suggested otherwise. However, after several patients asked her about the possibility of it causing abortions, she did her own research and, today, is fully convinced that it can and does cause the loss of newly conceived life).
Closing Thoughts:
… His word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones. I am weary of holding it in, indeed I cannot. ~Jeremiah 20:9The Lord laid it on my heart to write this blog post months ago. As I have waited for His timing to publish it, He has increased my passion for this topic. I can honesty say that my zeal is similar to a fire shut up in my bones and I am truly weary of holding it in. Yet, I am fearful too! Have I written my views clearly and wrapped my words with grace? Did I come across as arrogant or simplistic? Will I be ripped to shreds in the comments? Please know this was not an easy post for me, but as with birth control options, the Lord doesn’t usually call us to the easy!
So, it is with trembling that I publish this post and it is with trepidation I that ask for your thoughts.
What does being Pro-Life mean to you?
A follow-up post has been written and can be found here!
Anna says
Thanks for this, Darby. I’ve been wrestling with this issue for a while now. I think this was exactly what I needed to hear. Love the Randy Alcorn quote too 🙂
darbyd says
Praise God! Thank you, Anna. Yes, Randy Alcorn has many exceptional quotes about this. I would HIGHLY recommend you read his book “Does the Birth Control Pill Cause Abortions” (you can read it online for free or buy a copy for $3.00). Thanks again.
Crystal @ Serving Joyfully says
I believe you presented this with tons of grace and in a very gentle way. Facts are facts, even if they don’t look like people want them to.
darbyd says
Thank you, Crystal! I appreciate your words and encouragement.
Shalom Wilson says
Oh thank you thank you for being sensitive to what the Holy Spirit would have you share!
My husband and I have been married for 2 years and have a 20 month old son. Yes you read that right…the honeymoon baby that We did NOT plan for. I was on a combo pill when we got married, which being naive and not knowing about the effects of antibiotics, did me little good. After our son was born, I took the progesterone only pill, while breastfeeding, because like you stated, it is the only recommended one. When I returned to the Ob/Gyn later that year for an exam, we discussed several birth control options, now that I was no longer breastfeeding. I knew I did not want an IUD, because a close friend of mine had lots of complications with one, but I was open to others and felt I needed it because I suffer from PMDD. I was RX a combo pill, and my doctor said its mode of action prevented ovulation. I’m not usually one to read or research much of anything, but then I felt prompted to read the insert that came with the RX. (I now know that it was prompting from God to see the reality of what I was about to do.) I was HORRIFIED to read that it prevented implantation. I also firmly believe life begins at fertilization. If there are 46 chromosomes there, that’s a baby! I wanted to be sure that I wasn’t being hysterical, so I took sometime to pray about it, and then sat down and discussed it with my husband. We made the decision to not use any birth control medication, because of the way it works and how that could impact our family. We want to be obedient to what God would have us do in every aspect of our lives.
Also, that honeymoon baby we didn’t plan for, BIGGEST BLESSING
EVER!!!!! Thank you for sharing this, so that others will know the truth.
darbyd says
Shalom (I love your name by the way), what an awesome testimony! I cried as I read your story. God is a God of Truth. He desires to lead His followers to this understanding of the (largely unknown) evils of hormonal birth control. So thankful for you and husband taking a stand. And, of course, for your precious honeymoon baby! What a gift. Thank you so much for sharing!!!
Lisa says
I found your post to be filled with grace and vital information for pro-life women. Thank you for being faithful.
darbyd says
Thank you, Lisa. That means a lot to me as grace-filled was my goal.
bridget says
you are speaking my story with your written words! yes yes and yes again. never thought brith control to be an issue. done the pill in the past but at some point in my marriage choose IUD. I was having crazy vivid dreams nightly for almost a month that I was pregnant but bleeding. I would think there is no way im pregnant bc I have an IUD. the dreams lead me to start to research the device further than what very little info the doc offered. my husband and I both felt the dreams were leading us to further research. and our conclusion also eventually came to exactly everything stated above that you have written. we just had our 5th baby 🙂
darbyd says
Hi Bridget! Thanks for sharing. I just shared your comment with my husband because it meant so much to me. God used your comment to help confirm for me that this post was of Him and His timing is perfect. So thankful that you and your husband defend life. And, you have been blessed with 5 babies! Love it. Congrats on your beautiful family.
Jaydee says
Thank you for sharing! After being on the pill off and on for 10 years, I was convicted last year to stop after reading another blog post on the subject. I believe many Christian women do not know the truth about this issue.
darbyd says
I totally agree, Jaydee! Christian women, Catholic and Protestant alike, really don’t understand the inner workings. I know for me, it just seemed like that is what you do to prevent a pregnancy and I know in our early marriage I never even questioned what it was doing to my body. Thank you for commenting! I am so thankful that you are choosing life by not being on the pill!
Bethanie says
This is the first time visiting this blog, and I am glad that I did. I am a newly wed and have been on birth control for about 10 years until last month. I originally got started on b.c due to having horrible cramps during my period that could not be controlled with medication. While my father was against the idea, my mother allowed me to start taking them- I guess out of sympathy. Fast forward to today and my decision to stop taking them, it is actually 3 fold. I have felt like over the last year that my hormones were off, I can’t explain why exactly I felt that way I just felt like my emotions were off in some way. I also have been going through some women’s health issues that just made me think about what I was putting into my body. Lastly, the topic of starting a family has been in the forefront of my husband and I’s conversations lately. My husband and I are on the beginning path of our relationship with God and our faith. I wish I could say that my decision a couple months ago to stop b.c was based off of faith now that I have read this post, but I must be honest- it wasn’t. What this post did do was educate me on b.c (I will add I am a pharmacist so I never thought about b.c medically as a abortifacient) from the standpoint of my faith. So while I originally made the decision to stop taking b.c for other reasons I am happy to say I will not go back on it in the future. So while my current decision was not a part of my growing in my faith, I know my future decisions on this topic will be. Thank you very much for this post.
darbyd says
Hi Bethanie! Thank you for reading and commenting. I am so glad you found my blog (although most of my posts are more about marriage and less about b.c. ha!). I am glad that you are currently off of birth control and I will be praying for you and your husband as you grow your family and in your walk with God. Exciting times are ahead. 🙂 Thank you for your honesty. I thought it was interesting that, as a pharmacist, you didn’t view b.c. as an abortifacient… my husband is an MD and when I brought him this information his first response was, “this isn’t what we learned in med school.” Thanks again! You are in my prayers.
Nikki says
That you for speaking TRUTH! Hormonal birth control methods do so much more than society and doctors offices lead us to believe.
darbyd says
Amen! Thanks for reading and posting your encouragement!
Jeannie K says
So what is your answer for birth control? It sounds like only natural family planning would be acceptable. But NFP isn’t a great idea for a woman with irregular cycles. Condoms? I know it may sound silly, but I really don’t like having that barrier between my husband and me when we are experiencing the gift of God given love making. I’m not meaning to be confrontational, but I am truly confused and facing this issue now.
darbyd says
Hi Jeannie! thanks for reading and asking! I totally understand your question! In fact, it is one my husband and I often discuss. For the past several years we have been open to whatever in terms of children and have taken no measure of prevention at all. We don’t foresee that being a practice we put into place for the rest of our lives and so we are beginning to look into non-abortifacient methods of birth control. I, too, have very irregular cycles… in fact sometimes it can 90+ days between periods. Other months 2 weeks. So I understand the dilemma with the typical NFP. I am a BIG fan of the Creighton Model. To understand this, you HAVE to go through training (offered over Skype if an instructor isn’t in your area). This is where a woman checks her cervical mucus every day and then learns how to read it for fertility and infertile times. There is also, an expensive choice of, ovulation predictor kits. You can buy some for “longer cycles” at Wal-Mart for about 11.00 and simply test for ovulation every day. Barrier methods such as condoms (I don’t like condoms… at all, but they are an option and some Christian bloggers discuss “how to find the right ones” which might be helpful) or diaphragms (which I hear are better than condoms in terms of comfort and closeness). Sterilization is also an option for some couples, but personally that is not something I would consider (just my opinion on that one, but it certainly doesn’t abort a new born baby!). Lastly, of course, is the withdrawal method. I do agree, that it is hard to prevent pregnancy in ways that honor life. I think that is part of doing things God’s way… He asks us to trust more in Him than in ourselves or medical convinces. I will be praying for you as I know this is a though truth to wrestle with. Thanks again for reading.
Jeannie K says
Thank you for responding. I’ve read Taking Charge of your Fertility and it describes a method of cervical checks similar to what you are describing. Are you familiar with this book? Do you know if it is different that the Creighton Model? Thanks for your help.
darbyd says
Hm, not sure. Someone gave me Taking Charge of Your Fertility when my husband and I were struggling with infertility, but I never read it and I can’t seem to find it in my house right now! Creighton Model’s website is:
http://www.creightonmodel.com which might give you more info.
Truth be told, I, personally, have only used Creighton Model to help achieve pregnancy and not to avoid…. but it can be used for both. Hope this helps. Again, I know this is tough subject to work through.
JTurner says
This comment strand was perfect. Thank you both for the level of detail, vulnerability in the question/responses, and courage in posting it so other women can find it years later (such as myself). Thank you, again!
Darby Dugger says
You’re welcome! Thank you for leaving such a kind comment!
Little Wife says
Yes! Thank you!
As a Protestant, I never knew that anything other than barrier methods or hormonal birth control was even an option. I was actually introduced to NFP through Catholic bloggers- and thank goodness for them! After so much research and many conversations with my husband, we determined that we’re being called to be ‘open to life’ by not preventing pregnancy and never again using birth control.
Why doesn’t the Protestant church teach this, do you think?
Jeannie- there are so many natural methods out there. I use FAM- the sympto-thermal method, which relies on basal body temperatures and cervical fluid observations to determine fertile times and infertile times. I have irregular cycles as well, and my husband and I were able to prevent pregnancy successfully using only FAM. Many women use FAM for years and years to prevent pregnancy.
darbyd says
Thank you for your encouraging post and your testimony! Yes, my husband and I have been “fully open to life” for the past several years, but we are also praying about adoption and so at some point we will need to prevent (at least for a season), but want to do it in a God-honoring way. I personally don’t like barrier methods myself… so that leaves us really with Creighton as our guide. We haven’t had to put it into practice yet, but one day we will. Good to hear that you successfully prevented pregnancy on the FAM method.
I don’t know why Protestant churches don’t discuss this more. I wish they did. I am currently praying and talking with leaders at my church regarding this very issue. I personally think it is an injustice that we claim to be pro-life and voice our objection to abortion, but then we don’t live lives that truly reflect that by our pregnancy prevention methods. I am praying for an anti-birth control (hormonal) revival to spring up in our Churches… Catholic or Protestant!
Rach D says
Thanks for sharing this…I too struggled with the above truths until I read Randy Alcorn’s lengthy, but informative article about birth control. Enough said for me. However, I am still very surprised at the large number of christian women who use the birth control pill or IUD. I am not sure this is an issue most churches want to address, but I am guessing most women do it out of their ignorance on how they both work. I even recall, as a youth, reading an article by a non-Christian who changed his definition of a human being being created (he had a catholic background, but mentioned not being ‘religious’). He realized there would be ‘too’ many babies to be considered to have been aborted IF we said that conception began once the sperm/egg meet…so he changed his own mindset to mean implantation. That shocked me to hear it from a non-practicing christian man writing this in a textbook! I mean, how many of us have possibly lost children because of this? That is, if we agree & understand the premise that babies are created once there is an individual DNA; i.e. when the egg/sperm meet immediately. I hope more people talk about this sensitive topic & appreciate how you did so with love & grace. Thanks for sharing 🙂
darbyd says
Hi! I am so sorry I missed this comment until today! Yes, Alcorn’s book is a must read! He lays it out so clearly and factually.
What an interesting point about a non-Christian redefining “life.”
I too am so surprised and saddened by the silence regarding this issue. My church is wonderful about being willing to step on people’s toes and speak about “sin” but yet we remain silent on this issue. I am not sure why this is and I know for a fact many women choose abortifacients simply out of lack of church zeal over the matter. While women should be doing the research themselves, many don’t even realize the need to! I am praying passionately for a anti-hormonal birth control revival! Thank you for your comment! Sorry, again, it took me so long to respond!
RS says
I am staunchly pro-life and there is beautiful evidence of this in my life, but more on that in a minute. What I really want to say is- there is going to come a time in a woman’s life when you know beyond a shadow of doubt that you are done having children. If you’re not here, you won’t feel that way. But that moment is when, as a Christian couple, you do have to decide what to do about birth control. Children are the Lord’s good gift, but I don’t believe He meant for us to have so many we can’t a) raise them right b) take care of them. And I’m not talking about money issues, I’m talking spiritual and mental issues. I married young, and if we had decided to keep going, there was a good chance at a baby every 17 months for the next 20 years. And that is not what God has called us to do. I didn’t use hormonal birth control for the reasons you’ve discussed, and condoms weren’t something either of us enjoyed. As far as natural family planning, our fourth came as a surprise when we were using this way. Also, the sheer number of days you can’t have sex really put a wedge in our intimate relationship. I didn’t want to ever turn him away, and I had to, and it just made me incredibly sad. So, I guess I want people to realize, there’s another side, and there will come a time when you have to make a different kind of decision. I would’ve had my tubes cut if my husband hadn’t volunteered himself. He said it was the least he could’ve done. We’ve both had peace about it ever since. Our five respectively beautiful and handsome children are happy and good (except when they’re not and then I have the energy and wherewithal to discipline them properly). And to top it all off, our sex life and relationship is better than ever.
I hope this all makes sense. And thank you again for bringing this topic into focus. It’s something our daughters will definitely hear about when the time comes.
darbyd says
Thanks for sharing, RS. Sterilization options weren’t really discussed in the post simply because I wanted to focus on abortifacient birth control options that many pro-life women don’t know about. That was my focus and permanent solutions are options for couples to make privately. I know couples who are at peace with a permanent birth control procedure, but I also know many (myself included) who don’t, or won’t, choose that option for a myriad of different reasons that are important to them. Again, that wasn’t the topic so I won’t spell out my reasons against it here… but I am glad that you shared your stance and that you agree that hormonal birth control shouldn’t be an option for pro-life women. I am glad you will equip your daughters with that same knowledge!
Elizabeth Ours says
This was a fabulous post!! Factual, and not sensational. You have presented pro-life women with facts that they may not have realized before in a very gracious way. With this information in mind, I encourage couples to pray about letting God be their Birth Controller! 🙂
Thanks for linking up with Marriage Monday!
darbyd says
Thank you, Elizabeth! I appreciate your kind words. Loved your end challenge for us to consider God being our Birth Controller. Totally agree. 🙂
R James says
Well Said.
And I am glad to hear that a woman is stating this, not just the men. [I’m a man]. I get tired of hearing ” You’re a man & can’t get pregnant, so you don’t have any right to control my body. Etc.”
Glad to see you posting on the Sex Within Marriage site.
Keep standing firm on speaking the ‘Inconvenient Truth’.
darbyd says
Thank you! Appreciate your encouragement!
Ashley says
I hope you will forgive me (and also post this) for my disagreement on this issue. As a woman struggling with infertility for almost 7 years, I must point out that a fertilized egg does not always implant for a myriad of reasons. Simply put, with the definition of pregnancy given here, women have miscarriages more often than they realize. Many fertilized eggs never make it to fertilization and honestly, pregnancy hormones don’t kick in until an egg has implanted.Another reason I feel this way is that you can take many of the same Bible verses used in this conversation and blog post to say that women shouldn’t take fertility drugs or end a ectopic pregnancy (which would be fatal to both mother and child). I don’t want to seem judgemental of your decision to not use birth control. Honestly, if it’s what you feel convicted to do, then the Bible also warns me from causing you to stumble. However, I feel like it’s necessary in a healthy, non-confrontational way, to be able to agree to disagree respectfully.
Ashley says
And I also want to point out that many women who struggle with infertility, like I do, are often prescribed birth control because it can help jump start an irregular menstrual cycle and actually help.
darbyd says
Thanks for commenting, Ashley. I certainly don’t mind agreeing to disagree and really appreciate your gentleness and respect that are present in your words. First, let me say that I am sorry for your struggle with infertility. I personally struggled for three years, which isn’t the same as seven, but it does make me realize (somewhat) the struggle that you are facing. I’m certain that many fertilized eggs don’t make it to implantation. I do still consider that loss of life. The difference is, the women who are not on birth control so they aren’t actively taking something that makes their uterus hostile to the little life that God created… making the loss of life a miscarriage and not an abortion. And fertility treatment, etc. is a totally different subject that I’m afraid would be a whole different post and not answered clearly in the comments. (Same for my pro-adoption stance which I feel is equally as important to Pro-Lifers. 🙂 My post wasn’t written out of a “you must believe this” but more I just wanted to present some medical/Scriptural facts for the reader’s consideration and prayer, so of course, we can agree to disagree. 🙂 Thanks again for writing.
Tina Smith says
Simply excellent!
darbyd says
Thank you!
Mary Wood says
It was a responsible choice for you to post this. As a woman who votes pro-choice, I have often wondered why the people who are so avidly against against pregnancy termination in one form, would willingly take a pill which essentially does the same thing. I viewed it as highly hypocritical and your post has opened my eyes that it is simply ignorance. Your post stresses the importance of researching all the facts about everything before blindly following something simply because one source says one thing on the subject.
It is good to question things. Question ALL things!
Joellen says
I came to this article late, but appreciate the way you presented your views here. I’ve been bothered by the attitude of supposedly pro-life Christians toward having children, though I was once one who espoused limiting family size. My thoughts on the matter have been changed by both studying Scripture and my personal experience. One thing that doesn’t get discussed, even among people who share your views, is the long-term effects of the combination pill. I was one who was taught from a young age that it is best to prevent pregnancy for at least the first two years of marriage. The logic is that it gives the married couple time to establish their relationship before adding kids to the mix. I was taught that the combination pill was the best way to do this. As soon as I was engaged, I started taking the pill, so that by the time we were married, my hormones would be fully adjusted and I would not be ovulating. A happy side effect was that my cycles became more regular and my PMDD was less severe. Two years after we married, three years after starting on the pill, we decided to try to conceive. I stopped taking the pill and waited the requisite three months before actively trying to conceive. It was awful. My hormones and emotions were highly unstable. I was constantly angry and occasionally suicidal. My body just didn’t cope well without the synthetic hormones, and the only reason our marriage survived is that we are both Christians and had made a sacred vow. The worst, though, the very worst, is that the for some women, the risk of miscarriage is high for not months, but potentially years. I had at least three early miscarriages over the year or so before our oldest daughter survived conception. The side effects continued after my daughter’s birth with the onset of severe postpartum depression. It took five pregnancies , the fourth of which was ectopic and nearly killed me, over eight years before my hormones started to level out and the postpartum depression and PMDD were easily manageable. With the birth of our fifth child, I finally felt like I could enjoy the newborn stage without the usual fog of depression. Had I known about the abortifacent nature of the pill and that it would cause the loss of those children, I wouldn’t have taken it in the first place. The risk is downplayed because it is rare for women to be as sensitive to hormonal changes as I am, but it is very real. The effects on my health and the shape of our family were not worth the supposed benefit of waiting to have kids until we were “ready”.