Do you ever have those days where nothing is right and no matter what you feel cross?
I don’t know it if was because of a lack of sleep, hormones, or just a random bad mood but, whatever the reason, last week I was extremely grumpy. I was somewhat proud of how well I kept my emotions to myself. I didn’t want to say anything to my family that I would later regret. However, I did think negative thoughts.
Being in my third trimester, bending over to pick up toys and pushing the vacuum are quite difficult for me these days. Yet, there I was, downstairs, taking care of the children and trying to clean up the house. “I do everything around the house!” I grumbled to myself (which isn’t true, but I thought it anyway). I wanted my husband to appreciate all that I do for him, our children, and our house (which he does, but some days it doesn’t seem to count). After 3-5 minutes dwelling on similar “woe-is-me” thoughts, I came up with a great plan to get a verbal “thank you” from my husband.
In the midst of my negative thoughts, Colossians 3:23-24 flashed through my mind, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord, not for men, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” Quickly following that verse came 1 Thessalonians 2:6 where Paul says, “we were not looking for praise from people…” and then John 12:43, “for they loved the praise of men more than praise from God.”
Ouch!
It took almost a minute for those verses to sink in. Then, after eating some humble pie, I had such a sweet conversation with the Lord. He asked me why His approval alone wasn’t enough. Why did I want my husband to thank me? My desire for praise is a red flag that my motivations are wrong. I did not clean my house so that I could minister to my family. Instead, I viewed myself as a martyr, “Oh, look at all I do around here, and I’m pregnant to boot! Quick, someone, tell me how great I am!” After the truth of Scripture confronted my thoughts and actions, I realized I was acting prideful, resentful, and self-seeking.
I am not serving my family in the way in which God has called me.
He wants me to be like Jesus: humble, seeking only the praise of the Father, going out of my way to go unnoticed, and completing my tasks with a heart full of joy and gladness. The Lord sees what I do when no one is looking, but He also sees my heart while doing it.
- Is my heart pleasing to Him if I clean up the house, but am only seeking the approval of my husband? No.
- Is he pleased if I take care of my children, but do so wondering when I’m going to get a break? No.
- Is he pleased when I feel like I do everything instead of having a heart that is grateful for all that I have and all that Lord has entrusted to me? No.
- Does the attitude in my heart mean more to the Lord than keeping a clean house and taking care of the children? Yes!
Whether or not my husband notices all that I do would not even be a factor if I view my role as a wife, a mother, and the keeper of our house as a ministry in which the Lord wants me to work at it with all my heart. There should be no keeping score. Jason’s acknowledgment (or lack thereof) shouldn’t motivate (or hinder) me in being the best that I can. My husband simply should be a non-issue in my desire and enthusiasm of being a wife. I am working to please God in my role as a companion and encourager to my husband, as a mother and spiritual shepherd to our children, as the meal maker and house cleaner. My heart should sing praises to Him knowing that I am serving my family all for His glory… not for my own.
darby dugger
Madonna says
Great and convicting insights Darby!
Darby Dugger says
Thanks!