My husband and I were recently chatting with our neighbor about the challenges of taking a vacation with young children. We agreed that, with little ones, hotels are not optimal. Jason shared a story from our most-recent hotel stay where he sheepishly confessed that he had been “short tempered” with our children because of their struggle to adjust to the new environment. I eagerly chimed in, “Oh yeah. He did not handle it well at all.”
“To honor someone means to show respect — to give deserved recognition and appreciation to him or her. How thoughtful are you of your spouse? Do you actively seek ways to elevate your husband or wife before friends or family? Those are vitally important questions. ~Dr. James Dobson
In today’s society, we celebrate and applaud celebrities, athletes, powerful preachers, and high-achievers. Yet, when it comes to our spouse, are we as quick to offer praise?
It is much easier to focus on Jason’s faults rather than acclaim his strengths. As a wife, I get a front row seat to my husband’s humanity, and it can be hard not to focus on, or feel defeated by, his sin nature. My disappointments do not outweigh my joys, but yet the minority can quickly become the majority of my thoughts and my words.
I tend to vent about Jason rather than esteem him. Casual conversation proves to be a temptation to assassinate my spouse with words. It seems natural to “seek advice” by sharing where I view he is in the wrong. I can, without hesitation, be sarcastic, one-sided, and narrow-minded. And, in doing so, I dishonor my mate.
Flippantly discussing Jason’s composure at the hotel was not honoring to my husband.
I want to be a wife who uses my words to bless my husband! What I say about him is as equally important as what I say to him. When someone asks me how Jason is doing, I usually answer with the typical, “Fine,” response, but what if I used that routine question to prompt a time of praise?
“How is your husband?
“He is excellent. He is such an involved father who was up in the middle of the night changing a diaper.” “How is your husband?” “He is wonderful. I am so blessed to be married to such a loving husband.” “How is your husband?” “He is doing very well. I am proud of how hard he works for our family.”
I aspire for my words to gravitate to my husband’s achievements. I want him to receive public praise (from me) in the midst of the most mundane activities such as work, chores, and parenthood. To succeed at this desire, I must commit to honoring my husband both inside and outside of the home. I should never hesitate to share all of the reasons that my husband is amazing. I must create opportunities to shine a spotlight of admiration on my spouse — even when I don’t feel like it or think he deserves it (in other words, my emotions, or his actions, should never take my words into a negative direction).