I have been battling an auto-immune disease since 2003. Some days are harder than others, but honestly, over the past several years it has not been an issue. Pregnancy sends the disease into remission, and with having had five children back-to-back, I’ve been without symptoms for many years. Today, however, it is back with a vengeance.
My body is numb and achy; I’m fatigued, and not myself. My husband doesn’t even need to ask, every morning he can tell by my expressions and tone that I’m not feeling well. By the end of the day, it seems to take more effort than I have to take a step.
When I’m not feeling well, it is hard to be myself which discourages me… often adding an emotional weight to my physical symptoms. I want to be joyful, but I can’t be because my body hurts too much. Or at least that was my excuse… until the Lord interrupted me and said,
“Joy is a choice.”
It is a choice to have joy despite being in physical pain. I don’t have to let my body determine my mood. What a life-giving truth. I can choose to smile even if I am not feeling well! When I’m tempted to wallow, I whisper, “I choose joy.” And it is amazing what that phrase is doing for my attitude.
I can apply this practice of choosing joy to everything:
When I come home to a messy house – I choose joy.
When my plans for the evening backfire – I choose joy.
When I’m waiting in a long line at the grocery store – I choose joy.
When all five children are crying – I choose joy.
When _______ – I choose joy..
I can choose joy in every area of my marriage:
When my husband hurts my feelings – I choose joy.
When he disappoints me – I choose joy.
When my husband works too much – I choose joy.
When I believe his priorities are wrong – I choose joy.
When my husband _______ – I choose joy.
Joy is a fruit of the Spirit, in other words, it is a byproduct of walking with the Lord. Nehemiah tells us that the joy of the Lord is our strength (Nehemiah 8:10). There are no footnotes stating the conditions in which joy is no longer accessible to a believer. No matter what my body is doing, how my husband acts, or anything else that might arise in my life, I have the ability to choose joy despite it all. And so do you!
Are you choosing joy today?
Sharing with Wedded Wednesday.
Ugochi says
It is really a choice, a deliberate choice we MUST fight to stay with every day becasue the enemy is not resting in wanting to steal our joy.
This is a great read for me today, thanks for sharing.
I choose Joy! From WW
Have a super blessed day!
Love
darbyd says
Thanks for leaving a comment. And yes, you are so right to point out it is the enemy who is trying to steal our joy! Have a blessed day.
Lori Schumaker says
Hi Darby,
You described my current situation exactly. Although they haven’t figured out for sure which or necessarily if it is an autoimmune disease. For over two months I haven’t felt myself. Some days the pain is so excruciating I can hardly get up from my bed. But then there have been others that I feel pretty good. I have always been an athlete, but in the last six months I have gone from running 3-5 miles 3-5 times a week, to not even being able to walk around the block. The emotional weight gets heavy because I cannot meet the needs of my family as I have before. Choosing joy has been an intentional act each day, but thankfully God is redeeming that effort. I still have joy!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
darbyd says
Hi Lori! I am so sorry to hear about your body! I have been praying for you! I hope you are feeling better! I popped over to look at your blog and ended up becoming a subscriber! 🙂 We have a Selah too, born in 2011. I’m looking forward to learning more from you! Blessings and prayers!
Steve Stamm says
Darby, Although I am a husband, rather than a wife, I can identify with what you are going through. I was born with very poor vision and a condition called nystagmus (My eyes vibrate sometimes) and one of my eyes turned in. On top of that, I am the grandson of an bad alcoholic who was married to a chronic rageaholic and I grew up in a “Dry Alcoholic” home with all that that entails. I was brutalized by bullies during my school years which caused me some pretty severe emotional and psychological trauma. However, through everything I have been able to maintain a sense of joy and purpose by holding several ‘facts’ in the front of my mind. 1. God loves me and he wouldn’t allow me to suffer needlessly. 2. God can create. He created the universe as it is with me in it as I am. 3. God can see the future and when he created the universe he knew the evil/suffering I would have to contend with. 4. Knowing that he wouldn’t allow me to suffer needlessly, my suffering then plays a part in bringing about God’s ultimate purpose, which is, to bring everyone freely to him that will accept his offer of relationship with him. With this in mind, I have been able to “Count it all joy…” when I suffer. Thank you for your wonderful post! – Steve
darbyd says
Thanks, Steve for the encouragement and also for the wonderful truths/advice that come from experience. Thanks for blessing my day!