Last week, after a particularly challenging day, my husband felt overwhelmed and it showed in his attitude towards me. The next day at lunch, Jason asked for everybody’s attention. When the children were quiet he said, “Yesterday Daddy didn’t have very good self control and I owe an apology to mommy.” He looked at me directly in the eye, explained why he was sorry, and asked for my forgiveness.
What an incredible example of an apology.
I appreciated the way Jason sought out reconciliation. He did an excellent job modeling, for our children, a healthy example of seeking forgiveness. But, to be honest, he not only set an example for our children… he set an example for me.
I am convicted over my lack of sincere apologizes. Don’t misunderstand me, I orally say, “I am sorry,” often. In fact, friends and family alike have pointed out that I say those three words all. the. time.
True story, I once had this conversation with my boss: Boss: Darby, next time you put those away can you please put them in this drawer. Me: Oh, sure. I’m sorry. Boss: You HAVE to stop saying that. Me: Saying what? Boss: “I’m sorry” — you say it in response to everything. Me: I do? I didn’t realize. I’m sorry. Boss: DARBY! Me: I’m sorry!Now, imagine being married to me (okay, not me, but someone like me… someone with the same “I’m Sorry” habit). I express regret every few minutes, but do I really mean what I say? When those words do, in fact, need to be spoken are they any different from my normal chatter?
In today’s society (and in my own personal life) the phrase “I am sorry” is used so frequently that it has become trite. I’m sorry I forgot to put ketchup on your sandwich, I’m sorry my meeting ran a little late, I’m sorry I couldn’t hear what you said. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, blah, blah, blah…
Romans 12:9 instructs, “Love must be sincere…” Excessively using the phrase, “I am sorry,” cripples my apologizes from being given in humility and received with authenticity.
This is an area I need improvement!
I want to be a wife who genuinely apologizes when I wrong my husband; not a wife who quickly and routinely says she is sorry. Agree?
kate says
Hi Darby! It was so wonderful meeting you today. I hope we can keep in touch! I am looking forward to reading your blog. 🙂 Kate
darbyd says
Wonderful to meet you too! Thanks for stopping by the blog! I am sure I will see you around soon!
Tonya says
I agree. I feel like I say I’m sorry to often too. Now, how do we break the habit?
darbyd says
Hey Tonya! Glad you can relate… I don’t know! I think, for me, it is paying attention to what I say. I say “I’m sorry” so often that I don’t even think about it. If I think before i speak I might stop saying it so much during pointless times. Also, when I do need to apologize my pride swells up and I justify my behavior. If that stops, then I am more likely to be willing to humble myself and offer a true apology. 🙂
Thanks for commenting!
Sabrina says
Really I agree
Sabrina says
It is very wonderful