Sometimes I focus on the wrong thing. I quickly view myself as a failure if an idea I had doesn’t play out exactly as I had planned. For example, sometimes I focus on the wrong thing when it comes to evangelism and discipleship. In those situations, I can view “success” in the form of baptism. If I share the Gospel with someone, but do not find myself in the baptistry with them, internally I view my role as lacking somehow. It is as if leading someone through their public declaration of faith measures my success in sharing the Gospel.
Last week, as I was reading my Bible, John 4:1-2 stood out to me,
“Now Jesus learned that the Pharisees had heard that he was gaining and baptizing more disciples than John— although in fact it was not Jesus who baptized, but his disciples.”
Jesus never baptized anyone!
I had never caught that in the Scriptures before, but it came at a perfect time as I was wrestling with the desire to baptize a lady I’ve been sharing the Gospel with. In my faulty thinking, I thought baptizing her would be a sign that I had said the right words and done the right things. However, the simple realization that Jesus Christ, the One I am to strive to be like, never baptized anyone took a lot of pressure off.
As I shared this revelation with my husband, he pointed out that Jesus was more likely to be ministering with couples late at night rather than baptizing publicly in the river. (Jason and I are in a season of meeting with couples, late at night, whose marriages are in crisis, so he meant for that example to be personal.)
It was clear that I tend to focus on the wrong thing.
We all do that at times, don’t we?
We get hung up in the outward appearance or a particular outcome, and that becomes our finish line. This happens in parenting when we focus on a child’s behavior instead of dealing with their heart. At times we can exhaust friends with what we think our friendship should look like. And we can focus on the wrong thing in our marriages.
Sometimes I get caught up in comparisons or statistics and suffocate Jason with what I think we should be doing. Whenever I read a book, I tell Jason all the things we “need” to be doing to have a successful marriage. To which he wisely responds, “Where is that in the Bible?“ Focusing on the wrong thing in marriage can quickly bring about conflicts. As I was pondering this reality, the Lord quickly showed me that,
I focus on the wrong thing when I focus on me!
Wanting to baptize someone is more about me feeling like I did something well than it is about being obedient to God and loving the other person right where they are. In marriage, I also can make things all about me:
- I worry more about taking the perfect photo for Instagram that I miss out on the present moment with my man.
- Focusing on my to-do list, I can accuse my husband of not helping me, but truth be told, I’m the one not thinking about his to-do list.
- When sex becomes something for only my enjoyment and available only at times I see fit, I miss a gift God created for us to experience together.
- My husband can quickly become an idol when I give him the love, devotion, and power that should be reserved exclusively for the Lord.
- Date nights and vacations can be more about meeting my standards and desires than spending time with my husband.
- Making my marriage all that I want it to be forsakes the concept of letting my marriage be all that God wants it to be.
When I take the focus off of myself and the results I desire to see, I have more potential to walk in obedience to the Lord and glorify Him. I want to be a wife who doesn’t make her marriage about herself, but that can only happen if I switch the focus from myself to Christ.
Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. ~ Hebrews 12:1-3
In what areas of your life do you focus on the wrong thing?
darby dugger
August’s Free Printable Calendar is Here! Hopefully all blog subscribers should be able to download the calendar via the link at the bottom of this e-mail. Please contact me if you have any problems. Thank you for being a part of this community!
[…] Focus on the Wrong Thing, Darby Dugger […]