My Husband Always…
Venting to a friend about how my husband’s new work schedule is wearing him down, I highlighted his lack of sleep. I shared a story about how he went to bed at 2:45 in the morning but awoke fifteen minutes later when he heard me drawing the bath water. Jason knew that sound of running water in the middle of the night meant a sick child, and he got up to assist. She stopped me mid-sentence to point out how Jason’s servant attitude is a testimony of his love. Brushing it off as nothing extraordinary I said,
“My husband always does that.”
Socializing with other parents at a birthday party, we were sharing the struggles of keeping up with children and housework. I mentioned how when my husband leaves for work, I ask him if there is anything he needs me to do for him while I am gone. His response is usually, “Just keep the children alive. Some days that’s all you have time for.” Once again, someone else pointed out to me how great it is that my husband is so understanding. I minimized the kindness of his words by rationalizing,
“My husband always says that.”
I have grown so comfortable and accustomed to my husband’s good qualities and characteristics that they have simply blurred into the hustle and bustle of the everyday. Jason getting up in the middle of the night with me is nothing new, but the reaction of someone who doesn’t know his history reminds me of the need to stop and appreciate my husband. My husband is kind and understanding, but since that is who he is, I don’t thank him for his attitude.
On the flip side, I wish I could say that I have stopped noticing his habits that annoy me, but no, I can still list them easily.
Laughing with some friends in the church parking lot, we were making generalizations about men’s hygiene habits. Pointing out that our husbands have different definitions of clean, I couldn’t help but agree,
“My husband always does that.”
Discussing the differences between men and women, a friend and I were pointing out that circumstances that bother us don’t upset our husbands. She confessed that she feels hurt when her husband tells her she shouldn’t be upset about something that is important to her. I nodded my head in agreement and with frustration in my voice said,
“My husband always says that.”
It is sad that after all these years of marriage, the “annoying” things Jason always says or does still stand out to me while his noble qualities have become such a part of my routine that I expect and feel entitled to them. I want to be a wife who no longer notices the irritating tendencies of her husband. Instead, I want only to take note of the romantic, encouraging, and selfless acts. Dwelling on his faults will never bless our marriage nor will it bring us closer together. Being grateful for the positive qualities of my husband, on the other hand, will keep my heart soft towards him and encourage his spirit!
Have you stopped noticing the remarkable qualities of your husband but continue to dwell on the negative? Will you join me in reversing that pattern?
It has come to my attention that the link to the FREE PRINTABLE PRAYER CALENDAR I posted for the subscribers last week was incorrect. I believe it is now fixed, but if you still have problems, let me know and I will e-mail you the calendar. Thank you for your grace.
The Baby Mama says
This is awesome. And so very true! I love your writing – your realness is so inspiring! Thank you!
darbyd says
Thank you! I always appreciate your encouragement.