Often, after my husband and I kiss each other goodnight, we will browse our phones until we fall asleep. Not a very healthy habit, but it has been our nightly ritual for a few years now (thanks, smart phone).
After a lot of thought and prayer, I respectfully said to Jason:
I’m not sure how I feel about us going to bed every night while looking at our phones. I don’t have any red flags about it, per se, but there is something that doesn’t sit well with me when our last communication for the night isn’t with each other.
For sure, neither one of us are texting or on social media during this time (I read marriage articles or design blogs while my husband ends his day browsing his ESPN and ABC news apps), but regardless of the benign content, the fact is: we end our day with our focus off of the other.
We have filters on our phones to prevent us from looking at inappropriate content. We are careful not to spend unnecessary time on our phones while our children are awake. Yet, we have not put boundaries in place to limit the phone’s influence on our time as a couple.
Starting tonight, we are going to reverse our nightly routine. We will say goodnight to our phones long before we say goodnight to each other!
Would you like to join us?! Your challenge doesn’t have to look just like ours because your routine could be different. Do you need to turn the TV off an hour before bedtime? Or, perhaps the morning is more of a struggle for you: do you need to spend time with the Lord and your husband before checking e-mail?
Let’s make intentional decisions to cultivate a thriving marriage!
darby dugger
Whitney Haroutunian says
What if your husband says he needs to read and uses his phone in order to unwind and fall asleep? we have been working on a night time routine with our little one where I will put our little one to bed a day my husband if he’s off work will be on his phone playing games or reading or on social media and then I’ll come down stairs and we’ll watch TV together for 30 or so minutes before I’m tired and say I need to go to bed (I am also pregnant) he’ll sometimes stay down stairs and watch TV or if he’s tired too he’ll come up with me and we’ll get in bed and I’ll give him a kiss and say good night and him the same then he’ll get on his phone. I have started wearing a mask on my eyes because I can’t take the light. I just don’t understand it but he says he needs to in order to fall asleep.