** UPDATE: The prayer challenge that is introduced in this post will take place four times a year: September, April, June, and November! Opt in link will remain valid! Would love to have you join us on this prayer journey!
When my oldest son, Jonah, was 18 months old, he suddenly began struggling intensely to sleep through the night. He would wake up several times screaming in terror. My nightly routine consisted of rushing into his room, comforting him, and then laying him back down. Within minutes of my exit he would be up again screaming, and so the cycle continued all night.
At first I wondered if he was teething or going through a new toddler phase, but I soon realized his room had a darkness best described as sinister. I would always feel an intense need to pray whenever I was comforting him. Every night, Jonah’s terror increased. No longer were his cries isolated to the nighttime, but his fears began to prevent him from napping throughout the day. After two months of this, he would shriek and claw my skin if I would even try to take him into his room in the middle of the day for a diaper change.
My husband, who was somewhat hesitant about the idea of our young son battling something evil, eventually talked to some older men at our church. Without hesitation they told my husband that this was spiritual warfare. They shared their personal stories of battling the Evil One for their children and said to my husband, in these exact words, “Satan wants Jonah. You have to fight for him. You have to protect him.”
My husband, who rarely cries, became very emotional at the reality of what our toddler son was experiencing. With a new resolve to fight for him, we anointed his room with oil, paying special attention to the windows and the door. We prayed our hearts out, rebuking the Devil and calling for the blood of Jesus to anoint my son and his room.
Jonah’s cries, screams, and fears immediately vanished.
Our eyes were opened through that experience to the reality—and intensity—of spiritual warfare. Satan is active and desires nothing but destruction for each and every person. There is no doubt in my mind that he was tormenting my son those two months.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. – Ephesians 6:12 Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour. – 1 Peter 5:8
Praise God that three and half years later, Jonah is a mostly carefree four- year-old boy! He often sleeps perfectly, which I am thrilled about, but it is hard to be continually mindful of the spiritual battle that is still raging around him. Occasionally, he will cry and scream in the middle of the night, and after his shaking stops, he will tell us the same story about an “owl” that comes through his window and tries to eat him. Once he mentions a visit from the owl, we again anoint his room and pray over him, and every single time it brings peace. As long as we remain prayerful, there is calmness in our spirits, rest in Jonah’s sleep, and no talk of an owl. When we fight hard for him, the attacks stay at bay, but we often grow used to the peace and grow lax in our prayers until our son, screaming in the middle of the night, asks us to pray for him again.
The same is true for my husband!
I am blessed to be married to a man who loves the Lord, but it seems that during the times he is actively growing in his faith, I easily forget to pray for him. I don’t realize that my husband is constantly under spiritual attack.
Think about it: our husbands represent Christ in the marriage equation. A husband’s love for his wife should show a hurting world the sacrificial love of Christ. Satan does not want this image shown, and he is out to destroy anything that resembles Christ. Satan hates every single husband because of the potential witness his love could be to this lost world. Your husband and my husband are walking targets for spiritual warfare, and we wives CANNOT understand the pressure they are under or the attacks that they constantly experience. Husbands need the prayers of their wives more than they need air to breathe!
The scary truth is that if your husband loves Christ, the Devil is doing everything in his power to bring him down. If he does not follow Christ, the Evil One is doing everything in his power to keep him there. No husband is safe!
The Lord has birthed in me a passion for promoting this truth. If I were to transform into a Braveheart warrior, paint my face blue and white, rally a group of women, and yell “Freedom!” this would be my accompanying speech:
“Dying in your bed, many years from now, would you be willing to trade all the days from this day to that one for a chance . . . just one chance . . . to go to your knees and tell your Enemy that he may take your life, but he will never take your husband’s?!”
Ladies, we have a chance to fight this war every single day. Our husbands experience far more evil attacks in a single 24-hour time frame than we know. They need our prayers. They need the Lord’s protection. Just as my son needs his parents to fight a spiritual battle for him, husbands need their wives fighting on their knees for them.
As passionate as I am about this subject, I have been slacking in my prayers for my husband. I will be writing more about that confession later this week, but I wanted to make you aware of an upcoming 30-Day Prayer Challenge that I am offering to help rectify this oversight in my life. Every day for the month of September, I will send an e-mail with a Scripture-based prayer regarding our husbands. My oldest daughter starts kindergarten on September 2, and our fifth baby is due September 5! With all the upcoming changes our family is facing, I want to make sure that I am keeping the spiritual battle for my husband in the forefront of my mind. I want to pray for him each and every day. If you would like to be added to this special e-mail chain, click this link!
Let’s join forces and pray for our husbands!
Sharing with Thriving Thursday, Woman2Woman and Wedded Wednesday.
Molly Nelson says
Oh Darby! I literally have chills and tears reading this. Oh often I forget that we are in a battle. Thank you so much for your words of truth!
darbyd says
I forget as well. And I forget how crafty Satan can be! Thanks for commenting! Miss you my friend!
Tammy says
Thank you for your encouragement, Darby.
I found you from a referral from Unveiled Wife.
This was so relevant to me today. My daughter is also a threat to the enemy, and in those times of peace, I also become complacent in battling. Thank you for the reminder. All three of my daughters need to be battled for, but one is especially brave in praying, and so her attacks are similar to what you describe.
darbyd says
Yes! I will pray for your daughters too! I’m so glad you found me! 🙂 Thank you for sharing!
Andrew Budek-Schmeisser says
As a husband, yeah, I’ll testify to Satan trying to bring me down. Every hour.
He does it through small things, small frustrations that add up to distract me from the Big Picture. A gust of wind will blow the storage shed door closed while I’m getting the dog food ready, and suddenly there’s kibble everywhere.
A file will slip and gouge, ruining a part whose finish I’ve been working on.
These things pull me to intemperate anger and that feeds on itself, putting up a wall between me and the Lord.
darbyd says
Thanks for the husband’s perspective, Andrew… and for confirming my thoughts!
Debora Poulin says
Darby, thank you.
darbyd says
You’re very welcome. Thank you!
Beth says
I’ve been a part of a marriage prayer group, Darby, for about two years now and we’ve seen firsthand how God can take our prayers and set them as a shield around our husband’s hearts. In fact, I’m going to be sharing more about this next week, so I’ll be sure to give you a shout out regarding your challenge, my friend! And I’m so glad that you and your husband have surrounded your son and his room with prayer. Also thankful that God is showing Himself faithful to comfort and protect your sweet son. 🙂
darbyd says
Thank you, Beth! I appreciate the shout out, but more importantly the confirmation that this is a needed area of my prayer life. Love the image of prayers being like a shield! And yes, Sweet Jonah’s room is covered in prayer!
Meredith Bernard says
I got chills reading this, Darby. My pastor preached on this very topic last week and it’s been top of mind for me all week! My husband is not saved and I have gone through seasons of intense prayer for him, but have honestly been slacking lately. And I’m doing the 40 day circle maker prayer challenge, but I’d love to join you in 30 days of praying for him in September. Count me in! Thank you for linking-up…I’m glad to have found you (or you found me…however that works. 😉 )
darbyd says
Thanks for reading and commenting (and for the opportunity to link up!). Isn’t God’s timing amazing?! Glad it was something you could relate to! I will join you in praying for your husband!
Jamie says
We have experienced a similar experience with our oldest son, and what a wonderful reminder to be steadfast in our prayer life to cover those we love – especially our husbands! Can’t wait to join you in 30 days of prayer!
darbyd says
Thanks for joining the challenge. Look forward to praying with you next month. And, I’m sad — although somewhat glad — to hear about your son. Of course I don’t like that he experienced any spiritual warfare, but it helps confirm that we aren’t just overreactive parents as some might suggest. 🙂 Thanks for commenting!
angela clevenger says
Hey Darby, I found you!!
a friend of mine has been going through something like this… He’s much older now. Sending her a link to this when I hop off of here… Thankful for the reminder that we never forget how Satan wishes to destroy our marriages, via us, our husbands- he’s an equal opportunity savage. Still we serve an A-mazing God!!!
While studying the Song I am reminded of why- there is no earthly love that is more powerful… What an example of God’s love for us!! <3
AJ Thomas says
Thank you for doing this again. I truly missed your emailed prayers. I could tell a difference in my attitude as well. Let’s get intentional!
darbyd says
You’re so welcome! Glad it was beneficial to you too. 🙂
slie says
Wow this is beautiful, I went through the same challenge with my 8year old son last year September. He used to say he heard someone open the gate and he was so scared to sleep. My husband is new in the Lord and some of these things were a bit strange to him. So everytime he called I would pray with him and it was so frequent that at some point I would sleep in his room so that he would be ready for school the following day. Until one day I was so stressed and tired and breaking down, the Lord spoke to me using Hebrews 7:25 and it broke the yoke. So from that day I got home during our bed time prayer I read the bible for him from the book of Psalms, the first days I would read 3 chapters before he could finally fall asleep. When we started declaring the word of God he slept through the night. Up to now we read at least a chapter daily before he sleeps and no more nightmares.
Thanks for sharing .
darbyd says
Thank you! And wow, I will be praying for your son! I’m glad to know other people who have similar stories. SO thankful that God’s Word is keeping your son’s nightmares at bay. Thanks for sharing!
Nisha B. says
Hello. I read your story and it just blew my mind. I was wondering if the 30 day fast is for any situation of marriage. I ask because my husband and I have been separated since 2010. He accepted Jesus as His Lord and Savior back in 2005 while incarcerated. Coming back into society in 2007, he re-dedicated his life at service one Sunday. I believed we were on this spiritual road together but things began to change where he began to allow money to control him so in return, not know to me, he began doing things which created financial devastation to me. It was more than one situation, but I didn’t walk away from the marriage when at times I wanted to because of the hurt and betrayal. My actions weren’t always the best reaction to the pain I was feeling. One day he walked out on me, sending a text telling me the key was under the mat. Up to date, we never filed for divorce but he is in a relationship and engaged to this person who he has been with since 2010. I only found out he filed when he text me to ask if we were still legally married. I never responded to that text which was about a little over a month ago. Working 2 jobs, I wasn’t being consistent in praying for my marriage nor did I have anyone gather around and pray for the marriage. Is it too late at this point? Would joining this challenge be in vain for my marriage?
Nisha B. says
Just a correction: “I only found out he DID NOT file for divorce because he texted me asking were we still legally married”…
darbyd says
Hi Nisha! Thanks for sharing that. I’m afraid I can’t answer if joining the challenge would be in vain. I think, if you would be disappointed (to the point of anger against God, etc.) that there was no restoration by the end of the challenge, then perhaps your motives aren’t right. This challenge isn’t meant to be a miracle cure-all… it is simply to help wives (or future wives or ex wives) get in the habit of daily prayer for our husbands. It is meant to soften our hearts, become less selfish, and bless our husbands in an unseen way. While I would never limit God to say he won’t perform a miracle in your situation (because of course he can), I will say that if your prayers are more an means to an end… I would challenge you to switch your thinking to God using this time to change you and minister to your husband in way that is between God and him… not you and him. Hope that makes sense. We would love to have you on board no matter what, but I do caution anyone who signs up more as a plea to get a certain outcome rather than simply praying.
Heather says
Hi Darby. I have been married for 10 years. My husband and I never really got along fought alot. Everything bad that could happen in a marriage happened to us. We both have problems and there was a codependency in our relationship. Well, I got a real spiritual wake up call and started really walking closer to God and suddenly he just hated me. Many of the people in my life suddenly did. I finally had some godly confidence and standards and it just seemed like people who were always there for me before, suddenly weren’t, these are all christian people! They seemed to like me better carnal… Anyways, yea my husband and I have been seperated for a year. He has pushed me away and our 2 kids and went for drugs. I prayed and prayed for him but it has become apparent that he only wants me if I am spiritually weak like I was before. We have so much in common, but it seems like he can’t stand it if I’m doing just as well or better than him. It makes him truly hate me, attack me, leave me. I didn’t realize this at first but it has become clear. I tried to hold on because we have children and I wanted to honor God by not getting divorced. But I can see we just can’t break our patterns and I can’t trust him not to take off with or without the kids or stay off drugs or not be abusive. It’s crazy because I don’t know where my life goes from here. I really believed God brought us together so I hung on. If God hates divorce, why does it seem like the only option? My children need a good father to love them! I am so confused on Gods will.
Darby Dugger says
Hi Heather! I am so sorry for what you are going through! And it is almost impossible for me to speak into a situation where I don’t know the couple, but off the top of my head Scripture is clear that God hates divorce. But that doesn’t mean divorce is an unforgivable sin or something like that. I believe he hates it because he knows the pain it will cause and the fractured image of Christ and the Church it portrays. But the Bible also gives examples (adultery and abandonment) where divorce is permitted and it says there is that loop hole because our hearts are hard. We live in a fallen world and Satan is out to kill, steal, and destroy… so of course every marriage is susceptible to infidelity or a spouse who refuses reconciliation. I believe God’s heart is always FOR reconciliation, but that doesn’t mean it will always pan out that way. I would just encourage you to seek God in this matter, not rush in or out of anything, and cling to the One who loves you with an everlasting love. Easier to write than to live, I understand, but that is the best I can offer from afar. I will be praying for you, your husband, and your children.
Theresa Odetoyinbo says
Thank you for the wake up call. God bless you
Darby Dugger says
You’re welcome. God bless you too!
Winnie says
I want the reminder emails..
Darby Dugger says
Great! Sign up on my website (on the right sidebar under “Subscribe”) or via the links in this post!