“God calls her (Eve) Adam’s ezer knegdo, a very powerful name indeed, only used of God in Scripture when his help is desperately needed. The woman is man’s essential comrade, his lifesaver.” ~John and Stasi Eldredge
This quote, taken from Love and War Devotional for Couples, is an undeniable truth. At the dawn of creation, Adam desperately needed help, and so God created Eve! What an amazing truth about marriage!
Sadly, though, that principle isn’t lived out in my own marital union.
As I evaluate if I am a true ezer knegdo for Jason, I realize that my choices, actions, and words do not often make his life easier. While I can be encouraging, I know that I can also be harsh and critical. And, more often that not, I am the one who desperately needs help!
Two weeks ago I spoke at a marriage event, and in preparation I urgently needed the help of my husband. He sacrificed his own needs in order to assist me with the content, flow, and delivery of my talk. Over the weekend I attended the She Speaks Conference in North Carolina, and I desperately needed Jason’s wisdom (and editing skills) as I planned out my book proposal and my prepared-in-advance speech and as I organized the details of my solo trip (flights, hotels, etc.).
After considering the past couple of weeks, I can safely say that I am unfortunately not the ezer knegdo that God has called me to be.
I frequently put my needs and wants ahead of my husband’s. I am the one asking for help rather than offering it, and that needs to change.
But how do I change my entire way of thinking? Instead of approaching each day looking at the things I need to complete, how do I approach the day focusing on what my husband needs to accomplish? I don’t know for sure, but I do know that every day I need to ask my husbands questions like these:
- What can I do for you today?
- How can I help you out?
- How can I come alongside you and support you?
- What can I do for you today while you are at work?
- How can I help you reach that goal?
- What do you need from me?
As I ask him these questions, I must be prepared to follow through with his answers.
Some days he might not need me to do much for him, but other days he might ask me to spend less at the grocery store in order to meet our financial goals or he might ask me to utilize the children’s nap time so that I can send specific e-mails for him. His answers will change each day, but I want to choose to make his to-do list first on my to-do list. I want to choose to be the best ezer knegdo I can be!
Are you the “ezer knegdo” that your husband needs?
Edited by Mary Anne Brady – Affordable & Meticulous Editing Services at www.bradyediting.com
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