We recently started feeding our youngest child, Hezekiah, baby food (where did the time go?!). At the end of every meal, remnants of whatever pureed delicacy I made for him are on his lips, in his hair, in the folds of his neck, and all over his clothes. Perhaps it is my personality or maybe just the effect of having five children, but stains on clothes don’t bother me. I also reason that since we have cloth bibs, either I can do laundry with just dirty clothes or I’ll have to double the laundry size by adding in soiled bibs.
After a couple feedings, my husband kindly asked me if I would make sure to put a bib on Hezekiah every time I feed him in order to preserve his clothes. I respected his wishes, at first, simply because he was present at dinnertime, but when he would go to work, I never found myself putting a bib on our baby. I wish I could say I had forgotten about his request, but the truth is that I had an internal conversation with myself about what I should do. With Hezekiah’s baby food and a spoon in my hands, I walked directly past the drawer where we store the bibs. I paused for a second and thought,
Do I really need to put a bib on him? Jason isn’t home, and I’m the one doing all the laundry. Would he even notice?
At that moment the Lord spoke clearly to me the phrase “Submission in the small things.”
My (unbiblical) view of submission is more like a smorgasbord from which I pick and choose: I’ll submit to this but not to that. But if I’m not honoring my husband in small matters, what would spur me to submit to him in significant ones? When he makes a decision, as long as it doesn’t go against the Lord, I have a scriptural duty to support him.
Without hesitation.
Without weighing all my options.
Without pausing to have an internal conversation with myself.
I believe the very moment I wondered if I should grab the bib, I stopped submitting. A wife’s submissive heart does not pause to consider all her options or wonder if she can get away with not getting caught. I realize that what I’m talking about here is a bib—a bib! But as “harmless” as a bib is, this example is a clear indication that I need to improve the principle and practice of submission in my life. My desire to cut corners when it comes to submitting to my husband is a fatal flaw. If my heart wants to go against my husband in matters this minuscule, then clearly I have a lot of heart work to do!
If I can’t be trusted to submit in the insignificant, everyday things, how can I be trusted to submit in the big decisions?
Do you submit to your husband in the small things?
Linking up with Messy Marriage.
Jen King says
Love this! I am most definitely not a submissive woman! While I’m not a new believer, I am new to actively pursuing time with the Lord and following the word in every day life. Questions regarding the difference in being a submissive woman and being a woman who lets people walk all over her have been on my mind lately so I enjoyed this post 🙂
darbyd says
Thanks, Jen! Yes, there is a huge difference between being submissive and allowing someone to walk all over you… glad you could sense that difference in the post. Thank you so much for your encouraging words and taking the time to leave a comment!
Gina Sena says
Hi Sweet Darby!!
I loved your post from today!! So true and so tempting to don’t be submissive on the small things… So thankful for The Holy Spirit!!
Last year the Lord started speaking in my heart about submission and why it’s so important. The funny thing is I was sure than in a scale of 1-10 where 10 is very good I thought I was in number 7 ( silly me!!!) not bad right? Well….. After really letting God taking over my desires and walking in His truth about submission I realize I wasn’t submissive at all!! I was disrespectful and controlling . ( same on me! ) so it’s being a wonderful journey and I’m not there where I would like to be but I’m not where I was. ( Thank You Jesus!!!)
Once I decide to do this I realized that Jesus can’t be the Lord in my home if I don’t let my husband be the head.
And something happen inside of me, my love for my husband is stronger than ever. I felt like God gave me so much love for my husband than I could ever imagine so I can be that submissive wife with more joy because I do it out of love more than a chore.
Love
Gina
krge says
I am all about preserving baby clothes and trying my best to keep my children clean, and their belongings, so that they can last longer or be passed along to other deserving ones….
But, what if you disagree with your husband “in the smaller things”? Can’t you discuss the differences and find a middle ground? Why submit without discussion, if you feel your way may be the better way?? Especially, when it comes to bibs? I get it, there are some arguments that aren’t worth the time and so, keep the peace, and adapt to one anothers wishes, prefer your spouses requests over your own befause you love them..right? I’d like to know if you discuss your differences, or do you just silently submit when you are told to do something? Do you have a voice?
darbyd says
Hey! What a great question… so glad you asked! Yes, yes, yes… I have a voice and, like you, I think husbands and wives should discuss even the “small things” together in order to avoid bitterness from taking root. My husband is the kindest, most gentle human I’ve ever met… he would never ask me to do something I was in stark opposition over. I did tell him I didn’t think it mattered if we used a bib, but since we do pass along our clothes he wants to preserve them as best as possible and I agreed to that. However, I chose not to respect his wishes when he wasn’t around… which was wrong on my part. I told him I would try to remember to use a bib, but then wondered if I really had to. It’s more a heart matter. Sorry if I didn’t make that more clear. So glad you brought up those points!