I have reached a point of sheer defeat. Not in my marriage, but in my attempts to accomplish everything I have already agreed to do. Do you ever struggle with being overcommitted?
The month of February, somehow, has become completely filled with activities, ministries, and events that will be time consuming and energy draining. While I am honored and excited to be a part of it all, I regret that I did not say no to at least a few of the invitations.
Rather than getting a head start in my preparation, in my mature manner of coping, I have chosen to become anxious and agitated. My complaints have been constant. The tears have been steaming. All the while my sweet husband keeps offering to help. Instead of responding to him with appreciation, I snap unkind words and assume that he can’t give me what I need. I point out, sarcastically, that he can’t take care of the children for me while he is at work. Yes, it is a lot easier to drown than to learn to swim.
“You have to let me help you.”
My husband spoke those words to me today. He is willing to lighten my load, but I have to allow him to do so. He wants me to specifically say what I need him to do (or not do), but I don’t verbalize my desires. My only response is to scoff that his efforts to help won’t be enough.
I should really win a Tony for my performance in the “poor-me” act.
I need must to allow my husband to help me. Be it with the house work, watching the children, or in my upcoming writing and speaking opportunities. He is offering and I should invite him in to journey with me instead of pridefully assuming I have to survive alone.
Marriage requires teamwork. Sometimes it is the wife who is helping the husband. Other times, it will be the husband who is sacrificing for the wife. Most of the time it will be a mutual effort to work together as one.
I never realized before how much I pridefully presume that my husbands needs my help, but I won’t accept help from him in return. I exclude my husband and my attitude is not beneficial to our marriage! I don’t want to be a wife who refuses to ask for or accept help and yet that is exactly who I have become. My pride has no place in our marriage. I need my husband’s support and I desire for his assistance. I can’t do everything on my own. I can’t assume I always do a better job.
“You have to let me help you.”
The Lord whispered those words to me this morning as well. As a wife and mother, I try to accomplish everything on my own. I want to improve in attitudes and actions, but I don’t invite the Lord in to help me. I never hesitate to bring my husband before the Lord when I want Him to help my husband, but do I open myself up to the Lord’s assistance? Usually not.
I only said one prayer yesterday. That’s it!!! In all of my complaining and stressing, I forgot to reach out to the One who holds time in His hands. The One who is my true source of inspiration and strength was neglected so I could trust in my own ideas and power. It didn’t get me very far and left me exhausted.
Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.~Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
I certainly don’t encourage, or make a habit of, altering Scripture, but I humbly read the above passage this morning and realized that we should also pity anyone who falls and doesn’t allow anyone to help them up. That has been me in our marriage and it ends today! I need my husbands help to keep the house clean, to be a woman of God who serves her community, to be an excellent wife, and to be a kind mother who invests in her children. I can’t don’t it without him.
To follow through with this challenge, I forwarded a few e-mails to my husband at work with information he can print off and organize for me. He promptly responded that he had taken care of it. My load is feeling lighter already! However, my husband is only a man. I must also remember to reach out to the Lord. Only He can equip me with energy, time, peace, patience, wisdom, and joy as I embark upon having a productive day.
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